TurboNurse

So a lot has happened since I've been here last.

I'm getting ready to take my final exam in lecture this week, along with the CCT test that I have to get a 90% on to pass.

Clinical is over and I passed that. I'm still struggling with the nursing diagnosis though. For some reason I just have a hard time with that. Hopefully the more I do it, the more it will make sense. That was probably the hardest part of the whole care plan deal.

So anyway, I've been busy. The Jay Benson triathlon is coming up in less than a month. The first week of May is my audition at church to sing a feature song.

I'm so nervous. I don't know why but it just really hit me this morning. I was sitting in church last night and it was on jobs and doing what you love and loving what you're doing. The basis of the sermon was that God gave you talents to use and when you find that sweet spot where your ability and your passion cross, that is what you are supposed to do.

It really got me thinking which has made me more nervous. I've always had an aptitude for music and the creative arts. I've been praying to God ever since I signed up to let me know that I am doing the right thing. Is this a sign? Who knows but I trust God so I trust that I must be doing the right thing by Him. How much more obvious could it be?

The problem is convincing myself. Yeah it may sound like I'm 100% sure above but inside I'm so insecure and nervous and scared about this whole thing that it would be so easy just to walk away. But I can't. That's the good news. God has put me in this position for a reason and if I walk away now, I may regret it for the rest of my life. Quitting and walking away is NOT an option. No way no how.

I know that He will give me the confidence I need when I go to step on that stage but now I'm so scared. I compare it to the first day of school. You're walking into the building scared out of your mind because you are leaving behind all that is familiar and walking head first into the unknown. So many new things to experience to bring us to new heights. So many things to take us outside of our comfort zones and help us grow as humans. It's scary stuff!

I've been told in the past that I have a good voice. I love to sing. I love to sing in church. I love to touch people's hearts and bring them to Christ through song. Seems a perfect fit huh? Only God knows! I wish I were that sure of myself.

This has been quite a humbling experience for me. It's really brought me back down and I've learned a lot from the process.

As I was sitting in church last night listening to the feature song I kept thinking about how that could be me up there having that much fun while getting the word of God out to the masses. I just sat there and smiled the whole time. I pray to God that it all works out and that I'm doing the right thing.

God, give me the strength and the courage to get out there and do what you have set in my heart. Don't let me ignore the knocking on the door and let me open up that door and embrace what is on the other side with open arms, open heart, and an open mind. God, if this really is where my ability and my passion meet, then I pray that I am able to carry out what you have set for me to do. Nothing would be more fulfilling than brining someone to You through song and the abilities you have set inside me. In the Father's name. AMEN.