TurboNurse

I can't believe I only have two weeks left of orientation!   T W O W E E K S.  Even when you spread it out, it's not that long.   hahahahahaha!

Had a little mini-meeting yesterday with the unit educator about my orientation.  My preceptor thinks I'm ready.  I told her I'm scared out of my mind.  They gave me the option to come off orientation early if I wanted to.  I don't think I'm ready mentally. 

I mean if they had just told me they were ending my orientation right then and there, I COULD do it.  I have found that I am putting a lot of mental preparation into being on my own.  I am having to totally psych myself up and tell myself I can do it and the resist the urge to run the other way, toward my preceptor/security blanket.

I wonder if this is what some people go through when getting married.  Would this be like getting cold feet?  I'm asking because I never got that feeling about my wedding.

With all of this, I have found a riding group called Women Riding Well.  I went out with them last Saturday and made my first attempt at riding my bike to the crest of the Sandias.  We started at the triangle which is right at the turnoff to the crest road off of 14.  There is a gas station and that is where we parked.

I was a little hesitant at first because there was another lady there that seemed absolutely fixated on what kind of bikes everyone was riding, what kind of shoes everyone had, where they bought thier gear, etc.  I'm not so into that.  I ride for enjoyment, stress relief, and pure joy.  Not for status or for showing off what gear I have or how much money I (don't) have.  Later on I found out that she was a guest as well (there were about 4 or 5 of us who rode as guests that day).

I made it up just past the ski area, a little over 7 miles up.  The lady who was worried about what bikes everyone was riding didn't make it up that far (I don't know where/when she turned around and I don't really care).  When I got to the stop, there were two or three people already there and when I got there, it was nothing but great support, high fives, and great women.  I talked to them about the group and this seems to be more the norm than the other lady.

So I think I will take the plunge and join them today.  The group is not meeting because a lot of them are riding the MS 150.  Next week the group is going to Santa Fe on Labor Day and doing a ride down 14 to the Madrid area.  I'm excited to join them.

I am still torn though.  I really miss my friends from Albuquerque Fit.  Right now I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Either way, even though I am going through a huge transition in my life, I feel like things are starting to even out and fall where they need to be.  I just have to remind myself to constantly listen to what God is telling me.  That's hard too.

It's so easy to neglect God for me in times like this.  I feel like I haven't been talking to Him as much as I used to.  I really have to make myself stop and listen to Him whereas before, it was as easy as breathing.  I didn't have to think about it at all.  I'm also wondering if I should join a small group from my church now that life is begining to even out.  I know I could really use the spiritual support.  I'm going to have to look into that.  I need a good solid church family.  I'm sure they could have totally helped me though this rough time.

I could ramble all day but I'm going to stop here.  I'm so excited at the thought of seeing my friends tonight!  I can't wait!  It's going to be so much fun!  I'm going to see some people that I haven't seen in several months that I absolutely love like family!