TurboNurse

I have now been 2nd admit for two days in a row and of course, I get something both days.  Today sucked in a special way though.

I got a kiddo from L&D.  I knew it was preterm.  What none of us were prepared for was the respiratory distress that ensued as soon as the kid got on the unit.

I've seen retrations before.  They are more common on our unit so I'm quite familiar with them.  What I had never seen before today were retractions that were going what looked like an inch deep below the ribs!  My eyes just popped out of my head!  Unbelievable.

So needless to say the kid was intubated.  There were hardly any breath sounds on either side.  We all thought the kid had a pneumo.  Thank goodness that wasn't it.  The RT's gave it surfactant and that seemed to make things better.

Anyhow, I can't remember how many admissions I've had since I've been off of orientation and this one sticks out just because it is the first really sick kid I've gotten.

While I feel like I knew what to do, once your routine gets messed up by, say an intubation and line placement, it really throws a person off.  There were little things that needed to be done, that I knew needed to be done but had to be reminded to do because my routine was screwed up.  Whoever said we are creatures of habit hit the nail right on the head with that one!

Luckily I had a lot of help around me and a good crew of people to ask them my many questions that I had.  If it weren't for them I would have been so lost.

I'm still waiting to have a day that I go into work where I don't feel like I"ve messed something up or could have done something better.

We had to give some sedation drugs and all of our doses are xmg(ormcg)/kg. 

I'm amazed at how quickly the seasoned nurses can come up with these doses.  It's like BAM and they know while I'm still trying to figure out what in the world just happened and then about 2-3 minutes later it sinks in and I am able to figure out the doses as well.

I'm just so darn slow at things like that.

I'm still waiting for the day that I will be able to just pull things out like that.  I'm also still waiting for the day that I come in AND leave work confident in the work that I did that day and my own ability.

Everyone says that this feeling I'm having lasts for about a year.  Well, if orientation doesn't count, I have about 11 months to go.

Most days I wonder how I'll ever survive this time.  I pray that it goes quickly and that things will click one day.  I pray every day for the strength just to make it through the day with my dignity intact.  I pray every day for God to work through my hands and to have His will be done.

One of these days...............................................

I will be a confident and competant nurse.