So I survived my first semester of nursing school. It truly is the hardest thing I've done. Nursing school changes everything. It's not bad though because I have this wonderful career ahead of me. I'm looking forward to being a nurse!
I applied for several nurse extern positions but didn't even get called in for an interview. I called the HR department of where I applied and talked to a recruiter. She said to call her direct next time a position comes open. I'm taking that as a good sign. Hopefully one will come up again before I graduate. It would be nice to take what I'm learning in school and use it for real. Yes I use it in clinical but our instructor had to be there for almost everything so it was hard being supervised that closely. I wasn't a fan of it.
I ended up with a B for my fist semester. The kicker is that I was 5 points away from an A and if they rounded, I would have had an A. On a good note, there was only one person I saw who got an A out of 64 people so I think I ended up second in my class which is really really cool. I tried my best this past semester and if I really am second in my class, it was worth all the tears and breakdowns I had. I just hope second semster goes better. I also aced the CCT exam. We are supposed to get a 90% to pass and I got a 97%! Woot!
A lot is going on right now. I've been doing a lot of praying lately for some of my friends. I've also been praying for myself. I'm trying to figure out if someone I thought was a friend really is. I know this person is going through some rough times but it bothers me that they haven't told me anything. I've found it all out second hand. So I'm kind of stepping back. I did kind of confront this person so we'll see what happens from here.
I just found out yesterday that a girl I go to school with, her sister passed away. My prayers are going out to her as well.
It just seems that for a time out from school there hasn't been too much down time. Lots of changes have happened and it's only been a week since I've been out. I was really hoping to relax during this time but so many things are changing.
With my friend above comes the biggest changes. There was a separation there and a lot of us are friends with both. That's the biggest thing on my mind right now. I don't know the whole story which is fine for now. It will come out when it is supposed to. The hard thing is just thinking about how it's going to change our friendships. One of them wrote and told certain people what is going on and that they didn't want anything to change but that's impossible. It's hard when people expect things to not change when in situations like this, change is inevitable. I just keep praying to God to help me though this. I know this is especially tough on those two and it's hard for us as well.
On a more happy note I have my first race since San Antonio this Sunday. I'm going to run the 10k in the Run for the Zoo. This will be my 5th year running this race in a row. I'm a streaker! Hahahahahahaha! And I'm proud of it!
I don't know how I'll do but this race has always been more for fun than a PR. I'm running the 10k which is 6.2 miles. I really like 10k races and not many good ones come up through the year so I don't get a chance to do many of them. I've done less 10k's than I have half marathons! How funny is that?!?!?!
As always I'm really looking forward to the race. I'm going with some friends tonight to pick up my packet. This should be fun.
In a week and a half is my first ever triathlon! I'm really really excited about this. I feel ready and confident. I hope it turns out to be as much fun as I think it will be. The downside is I don't think Scott will be able to make it. I'm really bummed about this but I have some friends coming to cheer for me that are just like family so it will all work out in the end. I know it will. I love my friends and how we all support each other. A lot of us who are doing the triathlon on May 10 will be doing this for the first time so it will be fun.
The only thing I'm not really sure of is the swim because I've heard it's brutal but I'm sure I'll do fine when I get there. I'm not expecting great times on the swim. If I can do the 400 meters in the 7 minute range I'll be happy. I'd love to get it down to the 6 minute range.
I think if I really tried I could do it too it just depends on how many people are in the way. I've done a lot of form training with my swimming and it's come a long way since I started swimming seriously in January. I feel more smooth and efficient in the water now. My swimming endurance has greatly improved as well. I'm now able to swim 300 yards breathing every 3 strokes instead of the every 2 I was doing before. I haven't been practicing my flip turns although if things go well at this triathlon, I will put them back in my training for the next tri which is August 1 so I have enough time to refine things even more.
For my last long swim I did 2 miles! It took me about one hour forty minutes but I did it!
I've always felt like I should be in the water. I've had so much fun training for this tri and seeing the improvements it's brought to the other parts of it (biking and running). I feel I've become more efficient all around. Yay!
If I keep liking it the way I do now, I'm definately sticking with it. I'm already thinking about signing up for this same triathlon next year.
We'll see. Only God knows now and if it's in His plan so be it. If not, well so be it as well. :-)
So a lot has happened since I've been here last.
I'm getting ready to take my final exam in lecture this week, along with the CCT test that I have to get a 90% on to pass.
Clinical is over and I passed that. I'm still struggling with the nursing diagnosis though. For some reason I just have a hard time with that. Hopefully the more I do it, the more it will make sense. That was probably the hardest part of the whole care plan deal.
So anyway, I've been busy. The Jay Benson triathlon is coming up in less than a month. The first week of May is my audition at church to sing a feature song.
I'm so nervous. I don't know why but it just really hit me this morning. I was sitting in church last night and it was on jobs and doing what you love and loving what you're doing. The basis of the sermon was that God gave you talents to use and when you find that sweet spot where your ability and your passion cross, that is what you are supposed to do.
It really got me thinking which has made me more nervous. I've always had an aptitude for music and the creative arts. I've been praying to God ever since I signed up to let me know that I am doing the right thing. Is this a sign? Who knows but I trust God so I trust that I must be doing the right thing by Him. How much more obvious could it be?
The problem is convincing myself. Yeah it may sound like I'm 100% sure above but inside I'm so insecure and nervous and scared about this whole thing that it would be so easy just to walk away. But I can't. That's the good news. God has put me in this position for a reason and if I walk away now, I may regret it for the rest of my life. Quitting and walking away is NOT an option. No way no how.
I know that He will give me the confidence I need when I go to step on that stage but now I'm so scared. I compare it to the first day of school. You're walking into the building scared out of your mind because you are leaving behind all that is familiar and walking head first into the unknown. So many new things to experience to bring us to new heights. So many things to take us outside of our comfort zones and help us grow as humans. It's scary stuff!
I've been told in the past that I have a good voice. I love to sing. I love to sing in church. I love to touch people's hearts and bring them to Christ through song. Seems a perfect fit huh? Only God knows! I wish I were that sure of myself.
This has been quite a humbling experience for me. It's really brought me back down and I've learned a lot from the process.
As I was sitting in church last night listening to the feature song I kept thinking about how that could be me up there having that much fun while getting the word of God out to the masses. I just sat there and smiled the whole time. I pray to God that it all works out and that I'm doing the right thing.
God, give me the strength and the courage to get out there and do what you have set in my heart. Don't let me ignore the knocking on the door and let me open up that door and embrace what is on the other side with open arms, open heart, and an open mind. God, if this really is where my ability and my passion meet, then I pray that I am able to carry out what you have set for me to do. Nothing would be more fulfilling than brining someone to You through song and the abilities you have set inside me. In the Father's name. AMEN.
