So I passed my testing although it could have gone much better.
I made silly mistakes that I don't normally make in my patterns. I messed up on the second and fourth patterns. Little mistakes but still. They're not mistakes that I make. It's amazing at how being sick messes with your concentration.
I went in with that foggy head feeling which is never good. My saving grace is that at that point, I thought I was starting to clear up. I wasn't coughing and my nose had stopped running for a bit.
We started with patterns. They weren't my best, as stated above. I feel alirght about them though. As we were starting our patterns Mike started to give me a hard time about something and then Mr T (Michael) jumped in on it. It was a good time. It gave me an idea for a new comeback. haha!
Next up were our kicks. This is where I was really starting to know that I wasn't at my best. I was giving it all I had to make them look good. Afterward I was talking to my husband and he said it looked like I was just hopping instead of jumping. While I was doing the kicks it felt to me like I should be jumping. I had a couple of good 180 back kicks in there. The rest were just meh. They didn't feel as good and smooth as they typically did for me. I know I'm capable of much better.
After this we broke out into several different areas. First up was splits for me. I ended up being right where I thought I would be. I had made a goal at my last testing to get to 180 degrees on the machine. I made it to 170 which is actually not as far as I had gone on my last test. Needless to say, I'm still working on that goal. Last testing I was at 172.5-ish.
Required knowledge was next. No worries here.
Last up out of this part of testing was breaking. I really enjoy breaking. A lot. My breaks were a jump turn kick and an outward knife hand. This was the only area I felt confident in yesterday. I was able to perform both breaks on the first try. My jumping turn kick was either high or low. I'm not sure because I didn't look to see how the boards landed when I broke them. I'm wondering if I went a little high from where I measured. The outward knife hand went really well. That one I broke straight down the middle and across the knot in the board.
We all regrouped one last time to do our pushups, situps, and squats. I was nervous about this one because of the pushups. I wasn't worried about getting them all in, what I was worried about was going down far enough. I feel like I'm getting better and stronger at them but still have some room to improve. One thing I can say is that I'm thankful for all of the pushups I've been doing while at work. They felt easier this time around. I had to do 35 of each in 2 minutes. It was close on the pushups because I was trying my hardest to go down as far as I could. I heard the 30 second buzzer go off and just did 5 real quick to make sure I got them in. They were 5 really crappy ones but I got it done.
I surprised myself on situps. At the last testing I was required to do 30 and I remember just barely making it over that in 2 minutes. This time I did 44!! My goal for next testing will be to do 50+ in two minutes.
Squats went OK. Apparently I had a real odd form going on them. Not surprising since I wasn't feeling well. I don't even know what I was doing but I remember people around me telling me to not bend my back. I'm wondering if I was arching it or something.
All in all I did pass. I could have done better if I weren't sick so I'm not fully satisfied with this round of testing. The good part of it is that I gave myself a lot of room to improve for when I go for my blue belt so I will have to excuse to show progress.
Now this cold can go away any time.
I was not the creative one who came up with these. I found this in a post on http://www.allnurses.com/.
ENJOY!!!
A couple of us felt the need to change the lyrics to some Christmas Song Favorites---hope you enjoy!
(To the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)
Oh CBI, Oh CBI, how rapidly you're running!
Oh CBI, Oh CBI, how rapidly you're running!
The foley still is cherry red...
The patient thinks he's nearly dead...
Oh CBI, Oh CBI, When will you stop your clotting!
(To the Tune of Deck the Halls)
Wreck the halls with urine & stool!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Clean the patient like a fool
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Get the rectal tubes a-flowing...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Seems like everybody's going!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
(To the tune of Winter Wonderland)
Call light ring
No one's listening
Someone screams
"Stop his *******!"
It's normal at night
To cry out "All RIGHT!"
Working in a midnight wonderland.
Patients Yell
Gimme Pain Meds
What's that smell?
It's the same bed!
You're running the halls
Cuz everyone calls
Working in midnight wonderland.
In the middle there will be a Code Blue
Then we found out that he's a DNR
We'll have fun explaining all of this to
The Person who's in charge of all of us!
Later on, he'll expire
Then we'll call the house doctor
Who sleeps in his room
Don't call him TOO soon!
Working in a midnight wonderland!!
(To the tune of I'll Be Home for Christmas)
I'll be home on Christmas
Don't you dare call me!
I don't care
If no one's there
It's my day to be free
Christmas Eve I'm working
'Til the sun comes up!
And I'll be home on Christmas
So sooorrry---touch luck!!!!
And finally...
(To the tune of Silver Bells)
Poopy Bedpans
Smelly Trash Cans
Dressed in bright yellow gowns
In the air it's a feeling of C-diff....
Patients crapping
Nurses Laughing
Clean up bile after bile
And in all nurses' stations you'll hear.....
Saggy B*alls
Saggy B*alls
It's time for scrotal support!!
Ringaling
Hold up that thing
Soon they will be on the floor!!!!
(To the tune of The Dreidel Song)
We have a vial of Haldol
We use it every day
And if our patients go crazy
You'll surely hear us say
OHHHH Haldol Haldol Haldol
We give to you for sleep!
Haldol Haldol Haldol
You will not make a peep!!
Hope you got a kick outta this....we had so much fun writing these!!!
Merry Christmas Everybody!!!
I was told this morning by the PA I went to see that I am resilient (sp?). I guess I should take that as a compliment but quite honestly, I can't imagine living my life any other way than that which I have chosen. It's just me. Who I am. What I do.
I'd like to take a moment to say how thankful I am for where I am in life right now. Life isn't perfect but I'm pretty happy with where I am at. I feel very thankful for my wonderful job and everything else I have worked so hard for. I'm thankful that I am going back to school in January with my end goal being my MSN. I'm thankful that we are where we are financially, it hasn't always been this way. I'm really happy that my body is holding up through all the stuff I put it through with my different exercise endeavors.
That being said, none of this happened by chance. I've had to be strong to stick to my goals. I wouldn't have been able to do this if it weren't for the support I've had from my husband, friends, and God (in no particular order).
Yesterday at work I got my butt kicked. I wouldn't say it was a bad day, just busy for me. I had a pretty alright assignment and was also 2nd admit. The assignment I had was totally appropriate as an admission assignment. What threw me is that we got our first admit yesterday at about 9:30 or so and about 15 minutes after that baby arrived on the unit, the team was called over to another delivery. It was a term c-section so I wasn't expecting to get anything. Then I realized they were over there for quite some time for a term secion so I got to thinking I was going to be getting this baby. Term babies that come to us scare me because we don't typically get term babies unless there is something wrong with them such as congenital diaphramatic hernia (we've has a run on these lately) or if they have severe respiratory distress from things such as meconium aspiration.
This kiddo had niether of these. Let me clarify that a litte bit more. The baby did have respiratory distress but not from meconium aspiration. My guess is either from having a low H/H or TTN (transient tachypnea of the newborn--common with sections becuase the secretions are not being squeezed out of the lungs) or a combination of both.
It was amazing how white this baby was when it came to us. The parents are of the darker skinned variety and this baby was more white than the whitest white person I know.
This admit ended up being more sick than the first admit which we expected would be super sick and wasn't.
So we did the typical lab draws and all that stuff. Had to give a bolus right off the bat and then another bolus after that. Then they ordered blood to be given.
This was a new experience for me. I never had the opportunity to give blood on orientation and since I've been off, the opportunity just has not come up for me. It wasn't that bad. We had to double verify the blood, double check the orders (again 2 RN's involved) and then prime the tubing. We use special tubing for the blood but it's different that giving it to adults. There is no normal sailine carrier that goes with it. It's just the blood which was different for me. The only time normal sailine went in was when the line was flushed. There was still the usual charting. I charted every 15 minutes for the first hour and then every half hour after that until the blood was done (it goes in over 4 hours).
I am feeling more comfortable at work but I still have so much to learn! I've been there for 7 months now but I feel like I'm still trying to find my feet.
What I'd really like to make as a goal for next year is to start doing flex and going to deliveries. I'm going to talk to my charge nurse about that and see what she has to say.
I'm so excited about going back to school in January. I got an email from my director saying that I can sign up for my CAP III. CAP is basically an increase in pay grade for things like education and certifications.
I'm a little confused because I was asking about this earlier and was told I wouldn't be eligible until I start the actual BSN courses. Right now I'm taking the last of the prereq's required for the BSN. I need to go talk to her about it. Not that I'm complaining that they want to give me more money, I just want to clarify everything so that I don't get in trouble for anything.
Tae Kwon Do testing is on Saturday. The husband is able to come and I'm so excited for him to be able to see what we do. I can't wait! I feel very ready for this!
In class on Monday we were doing test review and another green belt and myself were working on our patterns. Mike came over and was watching me do the last half of my pattern. It made me so nervous that he was watching!!!! I lost my concentration for a bit but got it back. He told me my pattern is looking good, I just need to work on my sine wave on the move in the pattern right before the side kick. I will be working on that tonight.
How sad that this is the most creative title I can come up with right now?
Things are going good. For the first time in my life I was able to do the full boat pose without having to hold onto my legs. It wasn't that I ever lacked the core control to be able to do it, it was that I lacked the strength in my legs to be able to hold them straight. I took yoga last week and bingo! I did it! Not only did I do the full boat pose but I was able to go from low boat post up to full boat pose!
Tae Kwon Do is going well. We have belt testing on Saturday and I'm very excited! This is the hardest I've had to work for a new belt yet! My current pattern, Won-Hyo is the first pattern I've had to do with a side kick in it. That has been a huge challenge for me balance wise. I've been working on my balance and kicking at least 4 times a week on top of going to class just to get it down. I'm a total type A personality. Can you tell?
I've been noticing more improvement lately as well. It's so encouraging when I can feel it myself. It gives me such a sense of accomplishment, like all the time I've been putting into it is totally worth it.
I have admittedly slacked off on my pushups though. I'm a little nervous about doing them for my testing. I have to do 35 in 2 minutes. I was able to get signed off on them which means that I'm doing them but I need to be able to get more range of motion (go deeper). So what I've done is gone back to doing them on my knees, 40 at a time, making sure I go deeper into it to train my muscles and once I get that down I will go back to doing them on my toes outside of class. Of course during class and when doing my warmups, I'm doing them on my toes like I should.
Work has been good. Last week I had my first 1:1 assignment. It was really scary! It was very fast paced and things just kept happening one after another. I ran my butt off that day more than I would do with a regular 2:1 assignment. When I first came on shift I had to start a Versed drip, give a normal sailine bolus, and give two rescue doses of Versed and fentanyl, then one more normal sailine bolus. All within the first 30 minutes of my shift this was ordered. At the end of the day I really enjoyed having a 1:1 but am glad that I get a nice mix of things as well becasue if I had to do that day in and day out, I think I would get real tired of it real quick.
I'm still trying to figure out the dynamic at work. It seems that the same people keep getting the same assignments. I know it's probably wasting my time but I'm just trying to figure out why. In some cases I know it's because certain people really like taking care of our long term kids. I work the end of the week and there is definately a "core" group there that has been working together for quite some time. I think that has a lot to do with it.
I signed up to take an online class next semester at CNM. I'm taking a humanities class called Pop Culture and Identity. I'm taking this because the other classes I was trying to get into were full already. I'm really hoping that UNM will accept this as a humanities elective but if they don't, at least I'll be taking a class that sounds very interesting.
I'm hoping to start my BSN in the fall. I'm going to talk to advisers there and see if I can also take some core MSN classes as well that way when I decide for sure on my MSN route (if I decide to do it at UNM) I'll have the basics out of the way and will be able to just jump right in to the core classes. It works out because either way I'm getting my masters. That fact is not in question at all, never has been. What is in question is the specialty. I'm still throwing several specialties around. I will have it nailed down by the time I get to starting my master's though. It's just that I am such a new nurse and need a little more time on the floor to see where my heart really is.
One thing that upsets me is the tuition that UNM charges for the nursing program! The tuition for the regular RN-BSN is over $300 per credit hour! How rediculous is that?!?!?!?! The real kicker is that it's still cheaper than going to another school because other school require more classes, will take longer, blah blah blah. I emailed the advisor asking her why the tuition was so much more. Of course I didn't get a good answer. It basically came out to "because we can". Pffttt!
The worst part of it is that my work will ONLY reimburse me the REGULAR tuition rate so I'm going to have to pay out of pocket for some of my BSN. That was totally NOT in the game plan!
What can I really do about it though? It is what it is. I just have to bite the bullet and take one for the team.
Better late than never.
Thankful.
I am thankful for this whole year. The ups, the downs. The good. The bad. The ugly. The painful.
Most of all I'm thankful for the healthy body that I have worked so hard for. There is nothing better than having the freedom to move freely and pain free. My body has been through the ringer so far this year with a broken bone and two (yes two!) sprained ankles (at the same time to boot! luckily not severe!). It has endured many hits and healed from many bruises. Here's to many more to come! But we can leave out the breaks and sprains please.
I'm thankful for my legs. My legs have carried me though a lot this year. They have run, kicked, cycled, and pushed me through so much.
I'm thankful for flexibility. If it weren't for flexibility I would be able to move like I do. I also have to thank strength here as well since they both go together. If I didn't have the strength and flexibility I've worked so hard for I wouldn't be able to kick and move like I do.
I'm thankful for the job that found me so quickly after graduation this year and all the hard working dedicated people I've gotten the privelage to know through this.
I'm thankful that I'm aware that my job is my job and does not define me as a person. I'm still me and haven't lost that to anything.
I'm thankful for all the people in my life, new friends and old. Of course I'm thankful for my husband for many many reasons.
I'm thankful that I've been able to stay strong through the changes that have happened this year. The Lord knows it hasn't been easy. He's heard ALL about it, many many times!!!!!
On that note, I'm thankful for my relationship with God. If it weren't for Him, I would have crumbled long long ago.
I'm thankful for my bike, aka Speedy. It's pretty awesome.
I'm thankful to have a decent solid roof over my head so I can sleep well at night and not have to worry. We've worked very hard these past few years while I was in school to keep it.
This list could go on and on but I hope you get the jist of it. There are so many things in life to be thankful for that I couldn't possibly list them all here. So to sum things all up, I'm thankful to be alive and able to live the life that I live surrounded by the people that I know.
Tucson went off without a hitch. I feel good saying that now that everyone is safe at home.
As I had written earlier, the ride down was uneventful for the most part. I spent the first 2-ish hours of that one trying not to be sick but when we stopped in Socorro and ate, I felt better after that so I must have been hungry. I hope.
We woke up race day at about 0615 to get all of our stuff ready and to eat some breakfast at the hotel at 7. It was so nice to go to a race and be able to eat a nice good breakfast before. All the running races I've done have been so early that I haven't been able to do that on the road.
We got all of us loaded up and headed to the 80 mile start for the guys. It was actally nice and easy to find a spot to park to drop them off. They were so calm about the whole thing. I got a picture of them and I have to laugh when I see it. Not one of them are smiling. They are all just glaring and so solemn.
Got the guys dropped off and then I headed over to my start. I started at 1030 (I think). Either way I had about an hour and a half between the time that I dropped them off until I started to roll.
I got to the parking lot and just took my time getting ready. I noticed that my phone battery was about halfway gone already so I plugged my phone into my car and was listening to channel 24 on my Sirius radio to get myself going. There was a nice couple next to me getting ready at the same time so we struck up some conversation about Albuquerque. The lady next to me had run Duke City a few years back (I don't know if she did the full or the half) so we talked about that for a while.
After I got tired of just putzing around the car, I hopped on the bike and made my way down to the start line and lined up. I debated using the bathroom there but luckily there was a bathroom with a flushing toilet that apparently not many people in the parking lot knew about. I'm so glad I used that one before I headed down. I made sure to stuff some extra toilet paper in my pocket just in case the porta pots on the route ran out of it like I've experienced in running races.
I lined up in the front half or third, it was hard to tell how many people were behind me, at the advice of the guys. It worked out well. The bad part is that I had an hour before the race started so I just sat on my bike, not on the seat but on the top tube, and hung out. There was a girl going around in the crowd taking pre race pictures of people and she came up and asked me if she could take my picture and I told her sure. Then she looked at me and told me that I'm so calm. All I could think is what other way is there to be? I'm not about to be jumping around and moving all about wasting energy I knew I was going to need out on the course.
Also as I was lining up I had a freakout moment. I was looking around at everyone as they were lining up and talking to their friends and I suddenly felt totally out of my league. The feeling hit me so hard that I almost bagged it. I didn't feel like I belonged there at all.
Then another lady lined up next to me and we struck up some conversation. That was nice. She had done the race before and we were talking about it. I couldn't help but think she looked JUST like my sister. I never caught her name but I did know she was from Phoenix. I also remember she had on a really cool looking jersey with matching shorts.
Finally it's time to roll. Yay! It only took me a minute to cross the chip mat and I was off. The wind was already starting to pick up before we started and by the time we got going, it was going as well. We started off on what felt like a slight downhill and I was going at about 20-25mph. It felt so good!
The wash/river crossing was about 4 miles in so just as I'm getting warmed up and ready to go, it's time to get off the bike and hike it for 1/3 mile. It sure felt longer than that! The portapots didn't have much of a line so I decided that would be a good spot to use them. I was in and out. It was nice. Toward the end of the wash was an aid station so I hit up a huge glass of water and grabbed a pretzel on my way out.
I had so much crap in my shoes that as soon as I hit pavement, I pulled off to the side and dumped the river out of them. There was so much sand and rocks in there that I never thought I would get it all out.
What I wasn't prepared for was the hill going out of this neighborhood. It was a fairly short hill but it went up in three chunks. The first two chunks were alright but the last part of the hill, I found out later, was at an 18% grade! It was rediculous! I saw so many people walking their bikes up and stubborn me was determined to NOT do that so I stood up and just pounded out that last little bit. There was no way I would have made it if I wouldn't have stood on it. I was so proud of myself for not getting off the bike and walking it.
The ride for the next 20 miles was uneventful for the most part. I stopped at the firestation aid station expecting something more than the fruit and water becasue I heard that last year it was really good. Nope. Fruit and water. But that's OK. I ate some bananna and took more water that I needed anyway.
As I was entering that station, an ambulance was going by and we all thought it was for a biker. Of course we didn't want that to be the case but it crossed all our minds. Luckily we never saw an amulance on the course but apparently there was a wreck somewhere farther up that had traffic all backed up so a big group of us got stopped at a stoplight for what felt like an eternity because of it.
My one priority goal was to make it past the 40 mile start before they got going so I wouldn't get stopped. I missed that by like 30 seconds! I was one of the first ones in line that were stopped. I was so pissed!!!!!! That ment that I would be spending the next 10-15 miles playing dodge-bike against the slower 40 milers. Grrrrrrrrr...... I was not a happy friendly rider at this point.
There were quite a few of us trying to pass the 40 milers on the left and couldn't get by. There would be noone to their right and we would say left and they would just stay there. Some of them even moved left. Idiots! I'm surprised I got out of that cluster _ _ _ _ without shoulder checking someone. It sucked.
After that cleared out it was alright. That part of the race went by so fast for me that I don't remember much from it. I do know that I skipped several aid stations through here because they were super croweded and I wasn't in the mood to play dodge bike again with the slower 40 milers, most of whom were stopping at this first station anyway.
I stopped at an aid station that was at the bottom of a most awesome hill that I made sweet time down. As soon as I left this aid station a train was coming across so I got stuck by the train. If I had not stopped at that aid station, I would have missed the train but it was one that I had to stop at because I needed another bottle of the Hammer stuff that I was using for the majority of my calories during the race. Then of course it was back to dodge bike.
What I remember next is being on what felt like a frontage road for a short time and then turning west to go around some hills. This part was so nice and peaceful. It was a nice two lane road that I saw zero cars on and the scenery was beautiful!
Then we turn a corner and start up a pretty good hill. The hill itself wouldn't have been so bad but this road was from hell!! It was so bumpy and inefficient that I was cussing it the whole way up. It felt like it was never going to end. To those that have ridden the road behind Riverpoint, it felt like that but worse. Then we topped the hill and thought that it was over but for most of the downhill it was the same. I was never so happy to see smooth road than after that. And boy was it smooth road! It was like riding on butter! It was nice and wide with a huge bike lane plus two lanes of traffic only one of which was really being used because those of us who were passing others were out in the first traffic lane.
Soon after that we turned on to the frontage road, aka the road from hell. I was expecting to make good time down this road becasue I thought it was flat. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For me, this was the absolute WORST part of the whole race. It was nice because we had the whole road to ourselves but I was hurting so bad at this point that it didn't matter. It just plain sucked and I don't care if I ever see this road again.
Keep in mind that during the whole race we were fighting 15-20mph sustained winds either in our faces or, as was the case most of the time, coming from the side.
I didn't think this frontage road was ever going to end. It was about 10-15 miles we were on this road and we had a cross wind coming from the right. At mile 51, I look down at my computer and suddenly smell sewage. I looked to my right and what do you know, there is a lovely sewage plant of which the wind is blowing perfectly across and into us. I just about puked it stunk so bad.
I remember being so mad on this road because it was climbing the whole way and I was only doing about 13-14mph. I don't know why but I was so mad that I was climbing a hill and only going that fast. I wanted to go faster and just get this done and over with at this point. I don't think it would have mattered if it were flat and I were going 20mph, I think I still would have been upset just because I wasn't finished.
I equate this part of the course as being equal to the last 10k of a marathon. My legs felt fine but other parts of me hurt so badly and I wanted nothing more than to be done. I put on my determination cap and just did it. I knew that if I stopped, I wasn't getting back on the bike so I just put the nose to the grindstone and pounded out that last bit.
My feet really hurt me bad at this point, when I finished and took of my shoes, I had so many hot spots on my feet it was no wonder. New shoes are definately in the works for me. No doubt about it.
My hands were pretty much numb at this point and there was not one comfortable spot I could find to put them. Worst of all was my neck. It hurt so bad I wanted to cry but I couldn't because I just wanted this done so badly. I wasn't giving up at this point.
I had never felt pain like that in my life anywhere in my back.
Finally we turned off the frontage road and the crowds started to pick up. I had asked at the last stoplight that I got caught at how much longer we had on this road and one guy told me 2 miles and the other said 1.5. That helped get my spirits up knowing that this torture was almost over.
I had never felt so much relief as when we turned off that frontage road. It was so nice to have crowds again cheering for us and then I hear the announcer and just lost it. We made one left turn off the road and I saw that finish line and started to cry. I didn't let myelf get too teary eyed because I still needed to see where I was going but the sense of relief that came across me was just overwhelming. It reminded me of crossing the finish line of my first half marathon. It was really awesome.
I remember rolling across the chip mats, seeing some military guy there marking my bib and then someone taking the chip off my ankle and going through the rest of the finish chute.
I was diappointed with the end. I'm used to marathon finishes with the finishers corral and TONS of food and water available. I had to walk for what felt like an eternity to find any water and even then I saw a jug of water sitting on a table and just helped myself. The medals were all the way at the other end of the plaza as well. There really could be a lot of room for improvement there. The food I was finally able to get, I had to pay for from a vendor. Very disappointing. It was not recovery friendly at all.
The good part of the end was the massages though. There were a ton of massage talbes out there and available so the wait was quite minimal given the circumstances. That was super nice so I got a good massage. The guy worked on me for a good 20-25 minutes. It was amazing!
That night we went to a brewery place called Nimbus. It was alright. It would have been better probably if I wasn't so exhausted but they had the right postrace food so it worked.
Sleeping that night was terrible because of my back. It was basically nonexistent.
Luckily I'm heading to the chiro here soon to get myself straightened back out. Two days later my upper back still hurts like mad no matter what I do.
All in all it WAS a good race. I probably would have been in a better mood if it weren't for the wind I was fighting the whole way.
My actual ride time was 4:45:06 with an average of 14mph, much much faster than I thought I would do. I was expecting about 12.5mph average on my computer.
My chip time was 5:11:xx. For an average of 12.1 I believe.
I got a message on my facebook a little later that night from Randy telling me that my chip pace was faster than the guys.
I still haven't let them live that down.
The ride down to Tucson was uneventful. I do feel that I should get a medal for having rode in the back seat for as long as I did. That was hard for me. Luckily I had a good book and almost finished it. I'm currently reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It starts off slow but man it really picked up!
Yesterday we hit up the expo when we got here. It was alright. Nothing like going to a running expo. There weren't a whole lot of deals going on. I did get three pairs of PI socks for $15, some t-shirts, an even jersey, and a pair of sunglasses since I left mine at home. :(
This morning we woke up and had a nice breakfast here at the hotel. After we finished that up, we went for a late morning ride. We did about 16-17 miles. Just enough to work out the cobwebs. It was really nice. Started to get hot near the end but what more can you expect when the temps are supposed to top out at 80-something?
Now we're back at the hotel room taking showers and then we are heading out to In and Out burger for some lunch and then some sight seeing. I'm really hoping to see either the Biosphere 2 or the big wildlife refuge that they have here. It would also be nice to do some shopping but I doubt that will happen since I'm the only girl here and will easily be outruled on that one.
I'm very impressed with the bike trails here in Tucson. They are very well maintained with water fountains in the shade every few miles. They also link up very nicely if you want to go somewhere specific, unlike Albuquerque.
We went to Tri Sports last night as well. It wasn't as big as I had imagined but I was in LOVE with all the tri stuff that they had. Within 10 minutes of being in the store I had found about 4 different tri suits that I wanted to buy. I bought a pair of paddles there. I'm hoping that will give me some incentive to get back into the pool. It's been a long time since I've been swimming. It's probably time to buy a new swimsuit as well.
We also ate a Joe's Crab Shack last night. I totally heart that place! I wish Albuquerque had one of those! Even though I can't eat fish, they have some super awesome shrimp and margaritas in a mason jar that we got to keep the jar. Yum!
Tucson is very much like Albuquerque in some ways. They're about the same size. Tucson has mountains that surround all but the southern half of town. It's really pretty here. I also like the palm trees and the seguaro (spelling?) cacti that are everywhere. The streets are nice and clean and the businesses, for the most part, have really nice landscaping (unlike Albuquerque).
I haven't seen the really nice part of town yet. So far the houses look like Albuquerque. I'm guessing that the nicer part of town, like home, will have more of the adobe style houses. It's not bad. I'm not convinced that I would want to live here yet because of the heat but all in all, it looks like a nice place to live, work, and play.
I had great intentions for today. None of them happened except for laundry and dishes. I feel like such a slug!
I really wanted to go to the gym today but time got away from me, thank you computer. I don't like it when this happens. It makes me feel terrible since I didn't use my body in the way it's made to be used.
The Tucson ride is coming up this Saturday. I'm not too sure what to think of it right now. I'm the only girl going down right now and I feel like and extra tag-along. I'm not really sure that I belong. I really hope I enjoy my time there. I just feel very ackward.
I'm looking forward to going to Tucson becasue I have never been there. It's also been quite a while since I've gone out of town so it's time. I'm just dying to go somewhere other than here. I'm just diappointed.
I'm bummed that I'm missing TKD all next week. If I'm not careful, I may start to go postal without getting my stress release. I've been looking for a school to try and see if I can take a class there. I've found one that says they are ITF. I'm thinking of contacting them and seeing if they would let me come. At least that way I will be able to work out my frustrations. Lord knows I have a lot of them right now.
I'm thinking I need to start looking for a tri to do to give myself some motivation to get out and train on days that there is no TKD. I keep talking to myself about going to swim because it's another sport I really enjoy but for some reason I've just not made it. I really want to go. I think when I get back from Tucson, I'm going to make myself go that Monday. For recovery, you know. :)
This past week was the worst week I have had at work so far. All three days were full of stress for me. The first two days was becasue of social issues surrounding a kid I was taking care of and the second day just started off terrible.
Our computer system went out. It wasn't just our hospital, it was nationwide. I have never paper charted like this before and it just totally threw me for a loop. I depend so much on computers. I felt like I should be a character in the book Who Moved My Cheese. My routine was just all thrown off. I didn't know what meds I had due when. Everything was late and I was just behind the 8 ball all day.
We have to change out clear fluids on days and I typically do this in the afternoon. I kept looking for my fluids and they never came. I finally caught a pharmacy tech and asked him if he had my fluids. He said he didn't. My fluids finally showed up right at shift change.
I didn't like that because it puts more work on night shift. It's a task assigned to me and it didn't get done. I don't like leaving things undone. What could I do though?
I think it will help when I go back to school in January to kill my sluggishness. I have so much free time right now that I don't know what to do with it. I have had a hard time getting into a routine. I know some people wish that they had this problem. I'm not one of them. I like to do things but in order to do things, I have to have a reason to be somewhere and do something. I need to be around people. It just helps when I can interact with them. Even if I'm not talking to someone, just being in a group is nice.
I'm a happy person when I have a full schedule. Right now I have work 3 days a week (12 hr days) so there goes those days, M and W is TKD (if I am off work those days), and when I am off on Saturdays I can either go bike with a group or go run with a group. Oh yeah, I have bible study on Tuesday mornings, again when I am off work.
I would just love to have a steady schedule of some sort. I'm getting there. It looks like in January my work schedule is going to become more consistent so that will help a lot with getting a set routine going.
When you feel like there is nothing left, pray, just pray.
That was all I could do today.
Unfortunately as a nurse you get caught up in more social stuff than any one normal person should be exposed to in a lifetime. Today was one of those days.
Yes my job is there to take care of the baby but I also need to know, to some extent, about what is going on. For example, it's important for us to know if a baby is a CYFD case or not.
This baby was supposed to get transfered somewhere else. The mother and grandmother were understandably upset. Unfortunately they were upset at us when they should have been taking it out on the court system who decided what was going to happen. Or better yet, maybe they need to be taking a look at themselves and asking themselves where they went wrong and what they can do to fix it from this point forward.
Of course there were threats thrown out. It was just rediculous. I don't understand this stuff.
Anyhow, someone along the way lost their spine and the baby did not get transfered to where the court order said to send it.
Some people think it's so great to "work with babies". I think they get the idea that it's all about feeding, burping, and cuddling. It's the exact opposite of that.
There is a good side to nursing but there is also the ugly side to nursing. These last two days have been all about the ugly side of things.
Part of nursing is being involved in the family unit, no matter if you want to get involved or not. This means that you get stuck, yes stuck, in the middle of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the absolutely apalling. There is just no way of getting around it.
I try as hard as I can to be neutral. I call it being Switzerland. I get to know what I need to know and I refuse to go digging beyond that.
I suggest everyone out there take this approach. The more you know, the deeper it gets and before you know it, you're caught up in the whole thing and you have now dug yourself a hole so deep that you can't climb out. Luckily I have learned this lesson by watching others. Sometimes you can get in so deep that it may put your license on the line.
I'm sorry but I worked HARD for my license and I continue to work extremely hard to keep it. You may think that once you get your license it's easy sailing but it isn't. The work is just begining when you get your license.
Being a nurse is about taking care of your patients but the other dirty side of nursing is about protecting what you have worked so hard for, your license. Without your license, you aren't a nurse and won't be able to practice as such. Nothing is worth putting that at risk. Let me repeat that, NOTHING is worth putting your license on the line. Especially when it comes to social issues.
Know only what you NEED to know and be Switzerland about the rest.
I also suggest NOT giving out your last name. Lucky for me, my legal name is not on my badge but still. I don't want to give ANY family ANY way to find me and either find where I live and/or try to name me in a lawsuit.
To end this all, I have to say that there is no way I would have survived these past two days if it weren't for me knowing that I had Christ by my side to lean on and to get strength and courage from.
I don't remember the last time I have prayed as hard as I did these past two days. I am so THANKFUL to have accepted Christ and to have Him in my life.
I don't know what I would have done without Him. He is my rock.
Ouch! I sparred so hard on Monday night that I am still sore today!!!! I didn't think I went at it that hard.
What I remember is sparring this new guy in our class that is a boxer. Apparently he thinks Tae Kwon Do still = boxing and treated it as such. I wasn't ready for that and ended up getting by butt handed to me. I actually got hit hard enough in the face that I got mad. That hasn't happened to me before that. It was an odd feeling. I don't remember if I landed any good kicks on him or not but I was using my kicks every time he tried to get in and rush me. I also remember that if he was able to get in, I was using my kicks to get him away. That being said, he's one heck of a boxer. I could learn some stuff from him.
My next go-round went better. I think I was still feeling the rush from being mad but this time I was more controlled. What I remember from this one is that it just went well all around. We got to chose our partners and the person I chose is a pretty equal match for me which is why I chose him. I finally landed a good back kick and was able to follow through with it. I was so happy about that. I've been working on that for quite some time.
One of the things they teach us is to counter a side kick with a back kick. I still have to think about it when someone throws a side at me but I'm finding I'm getting more and more comfortable with my counters.
I don't know why but I find I fight better using counters than attacking first. I like to see what the other person is going to throw at me so then I know how to react and I know their speed and how to read them. I fought like that my first few go-rounds in TKD as well and was quite successful with it. Every once in a while I'll take the offensive side if the person I'm sparring isn't doing much and then when they start throwing stuff at me, I change my game.
That being said, things are going well. Scott and I are getting ready to head to Tucson next weekend to ride the tour. I'm quite nervous about it. It's not so much the distance, 67 miles, it's just the fact that I have never ridden in such a large crowd. I sure hope I don't wreck!!!!!
I haven't been on the bike in over a week. My hamstring was bothering me after working last week so I took Saturday and Sunday off and it helped. I'm feeling 100% better now and have had zero pain, even with TKD on Monday night. I'm so happy.
I'm going to look into doing one of the turkey races on Thanksgiving this year. I'm very excited about that. I haven't run a 5k in at least two years. It should be fun.
I am off on Thanksgiving this year. I still don't know what we are going to do. I'm hoping to get together with friends again. I cooked a turkey last year and have no plans of cooking one this year.
I'm a little sad though. I haven't seen these friends in a while but I know it's a little hard right now since I've been training for Tucson and they were training for a different race. I still hope that they come down with us though. It would really suck being the only girl there.
Yesterday I was home with a headache for most of the day and what do I do? Research for NP (nurse practitioner) school and specialty. I basically ended up giving myself an even bigger headache.
It's so hard to decide what to do. I LOVE working where I work. The patient population is really awesome. I would go NNP but the thing holding me back from that is that the practitioners rotate days and nights. I'm not sure how often they rotate between the two but either way, it doesn't sound healthy. My husband suggested that I start there if that is where my heart is in a few years and then I can always go back for a post-masters certificate in FNP (family).
I don't know. I'm going to let everything sit and simmer for a while before I start bending in any one direction.
One thing that hasn't changed over the years is I still want to do cardiology.
The quest for a baby continues as well. It's been since July.
I really really want a dog. I think that would make a great Christmas present.
I'm getting random now. it's time to go.
I FINALLY had my first successful admit today! It's about time!
Granted, it was a nice easy admit meaning that it wasn't crashing as it was coming through the doors. It just came to us for prematurity. 33 almost 34 weeks.
I was actually pretty much on my own for this admission. I had help getting an IV started and some labs drawn and that was it. There really wasn't that much to do.
I actually felt like a real nurse today! (as opposed to being a nurse with training wheels)
First off, one of the hardest things about starting a blog is coming up with a title. Sometimes it comes just like that and other times I have absolutely no clue what to call it. Why does a blog really have to have a title anyway? It's not like I'm writing a chapter in a children's book. Why can't I just number them 1, 2, 3, etc like they do in regular books?
Just some food for thought.
So life is life. Work has been going well. Every day I'm learning to stand on my own two feet with more confidence. I still fall down at least several times a day but it seems I'm not falling as hard as I used to. That's a good thing.
I attempted to sleep in just a little bit this morning but my body decided it was time to wake up at 7:30. My alarm wasn't set until 8:30. I figure that if I'm awake enough to turn over, look at the alarm clock and fully register what time it is, I need to get out of bed. Which I did.
It was kind of nice. Scott was still asleep so I made myself a nice, mostly clean, breakfast of Cream of Wheat. Cream of Wheat itself is a clean food but it becomes mostly clean when you add sugar to it. Maybe more on that later.
Back on track now, I made myself some coffee and curled up in a nice comfy chair which is sitting in front of our sliding glass door and worked on my bible study before going this morning. It was just me, the cats, and the bird. Hanging out like we do. I haven't done this in a long time.
I think I am paying for it a little right now though. I was really wanting to go to the gym today but I'm so tired that if I went right now, I wouldn't get the workout that I want. Instead, I will rest this afternoon and attempt to go tonight after the husband goes to school. The downside is that the gym will be more busy but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Haha!
The Day of the Tread is coming up quickly. I'm so excited about it! I'm also excited that even though I haven't run much this year, I still have a nice fall goal to look forward to. I don't know what I would do if I didn't set any sort of goal for myself. Goals are what keep us going and growing as human beings. If we just stop at the bar and don't raise it, where is the incentive to become a better person, to grow and expand our wings? There isn't any. It all has to come from us and those around us who may realize things in us that we don't see.
That being said, I feel I've grown a lot in these past few months in goals that I have made. Even though I haven't cycled like I would like to, I feel my bike handling skills have improved greatly and I'm feeling very good about that. I have been struggling with Tae Kwon Do this past month and last night it seemed that something clicked and I "got it". We also did a lot of kicks between our patterns. Our instructor told us we would probably be sore the next day from it. I'm not sore one bit! All this time I have put into training, both in and out of the gym, is starting to pay off in ways I didn't realize it would so soon. The pattern I've been lamenting about, Won-Hyo, is finally becoming second nature to me because I've practiced it so much. Last but not least, when I did my warmups last night before class, I was able to do 15 regular (not on my knees since they aren't allowed) pushups in a row! Wohoo!!!!
I guess all those pushups I do in the bathroom at work, plus weight lifting is starting to pay off. At least two out of three days that I work, I make a goal of doing 10 regular pushups every time I go to use the bathroom which turns into anywhere from 30-50 pushups in one day. I still don't feel like I could mention that I do this to my coworkers though. I think they would look at me like I had three eyes and a missing limb or something. I mean, who really works out at work? I don't know if they would fully understand my drive and determination to be the best I can be and to give all I have to everything I do.
Am I so strange to be so dedicated to something I enjoy so much?
There is just something about Tae Kwon Do that really helps take my mind of all of the stresses in my life. It's that one hour, twice a week (I wish it were more) that I can absolutely let go of everything that has been bothering me and concentrate on one thing that I tend to neglect. Me. My spiritual/mental health.
I can't describe the joy I get when I land a real nice kick or punch on someone. It's so gratifying (spelling?). Every time I land a technique on someone, it's like I'm letting go of that small piece of stress that has been holding me back from being the best I can be.
I'm going to be very honest right now. I've been dealing with some anger. I'm not sure why this has come up now and I can't identify exactly what triggered it or caused it. Because of this, I need this release more than ever right now. It's amazingly helping me through this. It's helping me keep my mind together so I don't just randomly blow up on someone who doesn't deserve it. Cycling has also helped me with this. When I cycle, I forget everything as well and just focus on the now and how I feel.
Cycling makes me feel free. I can cover great distances in a reasonable amount of time and not be completely spent for the rest of the day. I can see so many different things in one ride, each bringing with it it's own set of emotions. What I most enjoy is the solitude I find even in a group. I don't feel like I have to talk to anyone if I don't want to. If I want to break away from the pack, I just do a little sprint to get ahead. If I feel like talking or just being around people, I will slow down and ride in the pace line for a while.
I feel like I'm slowly finding my equilibrium again. It hasn't been easy and the road ahead will have some bumps I'm sure. Either way, I'm not giving up.
yep. 47 miles and I'm still smiling, and sitting, and standing. I'm ready for a nap though. I have lunch cooking now. I made a hamburger and am warming up some Athena potato wedges to go with it.
I rode with Women Riding Well this morning. It was a fantastic ride. The communication in the group is the best. I thought we would have really spread out over the distance but we didn't. On the way back several of us split off the group but for the most part they stayed together.
It was quite a big group. 19 riders in all. I think 5 did the 25 mile and the rest of us did the 47.
I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about the group but for the most part the people were fantastic and really nice. I did feel a little put off by a few people that were riding more my pace and that sucked. I just ignored them and did my thing which happened to be the pace they were riding.
I was also a little frustrated at first. When we turned off Rio Bravo onto Isleta, it seemed we kept slowing down but I couldn't figure out for the life of me why we were slowing. We were also riding about 12mph. Finally someone was able to break off and those of us who wanted to go faster were able. Once we turned on Coors farther south I was able to break away from the group about halfway through the distance on that road. That was nice. Once we hit Los Lunas we slowed down again. Why, I have no clue.
The way back home was the best part of it. We were off the bikes for quite a while in Los Lunas because someone wrecked and got some road rash and needed to be patched up before we took off. Since we had stopped so long, I had a major cramp going on in my right hip flexor so I stayed with the group for a few miles until that loosened up again and then I took off to our next meet up place. That was fantastic. I was doing 18-20mph and it felt so good!
We regrouped at a gas station and I ended up behind someone who was not so skilled at communication about things in the road. It started off with her pointing to things on the right side with her left hand. I could hardly see what she was trying to tell me. The only reason I knew she was trying to signal was because I would see the shift in her shoulders. Finally she started pointing to things on her right with her right hand. By that point I was more watching the person in front of her than her though.
One point really got my blood boiling though. There was a huge piece of wood in the middle of the shoulder we were all riding on and I couldn't see the person in front of her and she didn't signal that there was something there so I ran right over this huge piece of wood and damn near wrecked. After that I waited for a clear spot and I passed that little group. I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't feel safe.
Once I broke away from that small pack, about 3 of us, the rest of the ride home was benign.
I'm still a little fumed about the lack of signaling on the way home but other than that, the ride went without incident.
At the end of the ride I was asked to join the group. I thought that was nice.
I don't know. It was a GREAT experience and I had an overall excellent time and met some really nice people but I didn't walk away with that warm fuzzy feeling I had hoped for.
I think I will join anyway and see how it goes. Every ride is different and each week different people show up so I'm taking that into strong consideration because the first time I rode with the group we did the crest ride and I walked away with that warm fuzzy feeling for sure. That was a lot shorter ride.
Another thing that got me was when I was in part of the lead pack. We all regrouped again at another gas station and were talking about our strategy for getting back on the path from Rio Bravo. They were talking about cutting across traffic to get back and I piped up that there was a much much safer way of getting there. I really got some cold looks over that. We all ended up going the safe way but it was just odd. I felt totally put off but whatever. Luckily one of the guys that rode with us today (guys were invited today) also knew the way I was talking about so that helped as well. The conversation ended with "well we will all do our thing".
What was funny is that I ended up riding with the person who said that at the end and it was OK. She was talking to me so who knows.
It's always interesting when you get a group of women together.
The main ride people were really nice though and that is what counts.
Balloon Fiesta came and went this year. I'm bummed. We only got to go one night for a balloon glow and it got canceled due to a storm. At least we still got to see fireworks. I did get my pins and my program. I still need to pull out my hat and put my pins on.
I guess I'm just bummed that I didn't get to go more. Usually we go to an ascent and a glow. I did get to see the ascents from far away though so I didn't totally miss out on it all. Then yesterday at work some of the balloons went right by us so I got to watch them out the window.
I took care of a kid yesterday with a really really young dad. It was tough. I didn't agree with the whole thing between mom and dad. I just didn't get it. None of it made any sense whatsoever. So while they were there, I bit my tounge pretty much the whole time.
There are so many situations like that out there that it makes me so sad. There is an older adult male that has rationalized having sex with a teenager because he claims he is a born again christian. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
What is wrong with these people? I'm not going to say any more here but I can tell you that it gets much much worse than that.
What is it that makes these people so sick like that? What went wrong in their childhood to make them think that stuff like this is OK?
UGH!
Report was kind of interesting yesterday. I had the longest report on two very easy kids and to be honest, I got a lot of what I didn't need to know and not enough of what I needed to know. I'm not a fan of report like that. I really wonder if the person I was getting report from was just riding the clock and using a long report as an excuse to get some doubletime (anything past 7:30 is double time for us). Some people will do that. Really if you are only getting 15 or 30 minutes of overtime, it makes no difference on your check at all. Pennies at most. Then it makes management mad.
The tae kwon do tournament is on Saturday. I just realized last night that I haven't practiced any of the breaks I signed up to do. I signed up to do all 4 events, sparring, patterns, power breaking, and technique breaking. I could really use the practice on my technique breaking and patterns. I don't know why but I'm nervous about this.
I need a massage.
I have now been 2nd admit for two days in a row and of course, I get something both days. Today sucked in a special way though.
I got a kiddo from L&D. I knew it was preterm. What none of us were prepared for was the respiratory distress that ensued as soon as the kid got on the unit.
I've seen retrations before. They are more common on our unit so I'm quite familiar with them. What I had never seen before today were retractions that were going what looked like an inch deep below the ribs! My eyes just popped out of my head! Unbelievable.
So needless to say the kid was intubated. There were hardly any breath sounds on either side. We all thought the kid had a pneumo. Thank goodness that wasn't it. The RT's gave it surfactant and that seemed to make things better.
Anyhow, I can't remember how many admissions I've had since I've been off of orientation and this one sticks out just because it is the first really sick kid I've gotten.
While I feel like I knew what to do, once your routine gets messed up by, say an intubation and line placement, it really throws a person off. There were little things that needed to be done, that I knew needed to be done but had to be reminded to do because my routine was screwed up. Whoever said we are creatures of habit hit the nail right on the head with that one!
Luckily I had a lot of help around me and a good crew of people to ask them my many questions that I had. If it weren't for them I would have been so lost.
I'm still waiting to have a day that I go into work where I don't feel like I"ve messed something up or could have done something better.
We had to give some sedation drugs and all of our doses are xmg(ormcg)/kg.
I'm amazed at how quickly the seasoned nurses can come up with these doses. It's like BAM and they know while I'm still trying to figure out what in the world just happened and then about 2-3 minutes later it sinks in and I am able to figure out the doses as well.
I'm just so darn slow at things like that.
I'm still waiting for the day that I will be able to just pull things out like that. I'm also still waiting for the day that I come in AND leave work confident in the work that I did that day and my own ability.
Everyone says that this feeling I'm having lasts for about a year. Well, if orientation doesn't count, I have about 11 months to go.
Most days I wonder how I'll ever survive this time. I pray that it goes quickly and that things will click one day. I pray every day for the strength just to make it through the day with my dignity intact. I pray every day for God to work through my hands and to have His will be done.
One of these days...............................................
I will be a confident and competant nurse.
I made my first attempt today at eating clean. I've been reading about it for quite some time. I just recently bought the Eat Clean Diet Recharged (I also have the original).
After reading about the benefits of the clean eating lifestyle over and over again, I decided that it's time to stop reading about it and take some action.
Tonight I armed myself with my eat clean grocery list and headed out to Sunflower market. I figured if they didn't have it at Sunflower, I didn't need it.
I couldn't believe how full my cart was of fresh veggies! I spent more time in the produce section than I have in years! My cart actually looked pretty with all the color!
I got to the checkout line expecting a hefty grocery bill but much to my surprise, it was less than I usually spend at the store by about $50!
I think the benefit of shopping at Sunflower is the temptation of the well known prepackaged, nutrient void foods is taken away. They don't carry Lay's potato chips, big name ice cream or anything like that.
As I was making my lunch I realized that when I was counting calories last year with much success, a lot of what I was packing in my lunch was clean food! I would pack the occasional frozen dinner but it was at least 70% clean, high-density nutritious food.
This time around I'm focusing more on WHAT I'm eating rather than how much.
Why?
This is part of me taking back control of my health and my life. I've been thinkng lately about how much of an impact my lifestyle could be having on my lack of getting pregnant.
I already exercise in moderate amounts. My tae kwon do class is like a HIIT workout and the other workouts I do during the week such as weight lifting is of moderate steady state intensity.
Plus these past few days my diet has been absolute crap and I'm wondering if that's why I've been feeling as such.
Eating clean really is simple. Just think natural. It's not hard to cook a nutritious, natural, nonprepackaged meal. Even with prep time it takes the same amount of time, if not less time with practice, to prepare as does a prepackaged meal.
The benefit is that I will be loading up my body with the food it was made to eat and process. I'm essentially going to turn my body into the efficient food processing machine it was intended by nature to be. I don't know about you, but that thought excites me!
I've taken charge and changed my diet to a more natural and less processed yucky food one.
Are you ready to take charge and own your health through the natural nonprocessed food that our bodies were made to eat?
I double dog dare you!!!!!!!!!
Ki-yap!
Wow! I didn't realize how much I had missed running!
I went out for a short trail run this morning with the Sunday morning ladies group and it was so nice! This was my first run in almost 4 months. I admit that it was probably a bit ambitious to go for a foothills trail run as my first run back. I don't really care though.
It actually went much better than expected. I thought I would have walked a lot more than I did. I'd be a liar if I said it were easy. I really enjoyed it though and that is most important
Then ankles are surprisingly holding up well right now, about an hour after finishing. That makes me so happy! I had planned on going to Body Pump at the gym after the run but I am still trying to let my chest muscle heal. I think it got strained on Wednesday. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to lift some weights.
Anyhow, I didn't realize how much I had missed running and it missed me. After going on this run, I think I figured out why I've been feeling like I'm in a slump lately and running was the perfect pick-me-up happy pill I've been needing!
Now the trick with this will be to find balance. Not to sound like a chapter out of Eat, Pray, Love (which by the way, wasn't all that great IMHO) but I feel like life is about trying to find that delicate balance again and then keeping it. The most important part of this journey is going to be to stay true to myself and not get sucked into things.
I'm not sure what my plans will be with running. I'd like to run 3 days a week. I still have hopes of doing a 10k soon but think I should probably shoot for a 5k first and see how that goes. Maybe I should make a goal of running the Turkey Trot this year as long as I'm off work. That sounds good.
That's been the hard part about goal making recently. Work. It's hard for me to commit to much long term (longer than 3 weeks out) because I never know what I will be working.
The good news is that I seem to be settling into a regular schedule now. I am going to ask for just one more change and that should be it. Right now I alternate, unless I switch days with someone, Th-Fri-Sat and Tue-Wed-Fri. I'd like to switch the last part of that to Tue-Thur-Fri.
I feel like I'm slowly getting there. It's just going to take time. I'm going to have to learn some patience, which in a lot of cases is not one of my strong points.
Thanks Brigitte for letting me come out and hang with you guys!! Can't wait to do it again!
Life is such a delicate balance and it's amazing how easily that balance can be thrown off.
Well I've decided that I'm tired of being off balance and I need to get back into my routine.
I've been saying for a while now that I am ready to get back into running but haven't. I admit it, I'm scared. I'm scared for the pain to come back again. My ankle still isn't 100% but I'm coming to terms that this just may be something I'm going to have to live with and I can't let it rule my life.
Ever since graduation (yeah I can't believe either I'm still singing the graduation blues) life has not been what it once was and I'm sick of it.
Tomorrow starts a new week, a new dawn and I'm not going to let it get away from me anymore. I'm sick of being a passenger, I want to take the wheel!
Many changes came and went and now it's time to get back to my regularly scheduled life.
Something clicked in me yesterday and made me realize that I just need to get back in control of my life because right now, I see a downward spiral coming on and I absolutely refuse to let that happen. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt and shredded it.
I'm sick of being miserable and the only person I have blame is myself.
OK. Now that's out of the way........................
I think the title says it all.
I just finished my second full week of being off of orientation. I learned a lot.
My first week I had two stable flip and feed kids. That was nice. Boring but nice.
This week I had one stable ventilated kid (these are my favorite kind!) and one that was still in the incubator and on Optiflow. Needless to say, I went up in acuity, but not by too much.
Day one was OK. No major changes in my kids. Day two was a roller coaster. My intubated patient got extubated and my one on the optiflow bought itself CPAP/Hudsons.
The fellow that had my intubated kid asked me a couple of times if I thought it was ready for extubation. I answered very honestly, I don't know. I really don't know. That's not a good feeling. I'm not a fan of not knowing.
So I asked the RT that was there that day what she thought and she felt the same way as I did. I was leaning toward not ready.
Then toward the end of the shift, my other kiddo started to retract. Did I catch it? No! I felt so terrible for not catching on to that. The docs ordered a chest xray and blood gas. I was looking at the kid thinking that they were going overboard with her. CXR, OK but a blood gas on someone who is not intubated and not showing major signs of respiratory distress? So I blew it off thinking it would be nothing.
I never heard back from the resident about the results of the CXR. In our unit when we don't hear back, we assume no changes and go on as such. Come to find out the next day, that the CXR was pretty whited out and the kid got a dose of Lasix because of it. They were also put on Hudsons. Finally, something I can understand and rationalize!
Day three I have the same assignment and was also first admit. Now that is scary because you NEVER know what you are going to get. You could get the baby(ies) everyone has been talking about for a few days or you could get the walk in crash c-section. You just never know.
Luckily I got a transfer from another unit so it was a best case scenario rather than a worst case.
This was a term kid who came to us because of an ABO incompatibility. Basically this baby's body was attacking it's own blood cells and rupturing them which was causing the bilirubin levels to increase very rapidly. If not treated, this is deadly
When I find out what I am getting, I start warming up my bed and getting things together such as supplies to start an IV, a bag of D10 just in case they want to hang fluids, and whatnot. The kid gets there, the bed is warm, and I'm ready.
The admission goes really well since it's a transfer. An hour later, after the kid is settled in, another nurse comes over to me and says that we probably don't need to have the radiant warmer on. This was a term kid under a TON of bili lights. As soon as she said it, it made total sense. Did I think of that before? Of course not!
I had to hang a med I've never given as well so I went to read up on that. When the med came up, it looked like some had been shaking it the whole way here. There were lots of tiny tiny bubbles in it. So I put the syringe on end to get the bubbles to the top. Apparently I missed some. I went to luch after the infustion started and luckily another nurse caught a pretty big bubble in the tubing before it got to the baby.
I've just had so many "moments" lately. I'm amazed that they keep letting me come back.
One of my saving graces is that I have a charge nurse who I work with very frequently, who has a lot of confidence in my skill and tells me this frequently. I don't know how I would go on without her support and the support of the person who precepted me the last half of my orientation. They are people put into my life by God. That's the only way I can describe them.
I also try to remind myself that all of these wonderful and knowledgable nurses I'm surrounded by didn't start out this way. They all started out in the same place that I am now. They are wonderful resources and I love being surrounded by them because it's a constant reminder that if they can, so can I.
