TurboNurse

As I was walking around the mall today, finishing up my Christmas shopping, I can't help wonder and it sounded something like this:

Self: What happened to the true Christmas spirit? I'm blown away by how rude people are here!

Self 1: Yes it's a shame.

Enough said. Ugh!

I am just truly blown away by the way people act around this time of year! I had "incidents" with at least two strollers today, none of whom said excuse me or I'm sorry!

It's amazing how those two phrases can really make a difference and how little people use them!

People are all about memememememememe and it absolutely kills me! Have a little courtesy will you? I promise you that I'm not out to steal your end-all-be-all present for your loved one. I'm just here trying to get this done so I can enjoy the rest of my season.

Don't get me wrong, I really do like Christmas. A lot. I just wish that people would remember what the season really is all about.

While we are all out there shopping for our presents, there are people who can't afford to do that. And what about the people who have trouble affording their food or their life-saving medication?

Why can't we, for just one day, drop our mememememememe status and think about someone else? Someone less fortunate that we could help!

It's such a simple thing to do!

Donate a dollar here and a dollar there. Go volunteer somewhere that could really use the help. Or better yet, go volunteer where you can make a difference in someone's life by serving them a dinner, or handing out a much needed box of necessities such as food and clothing. Go to a nursing home and hand out little dollar presents to the residents living there. To them it's not the present that matters, it's the fact that you took time out of your schedule to see them that matters.

The smiles and thanks you get back from doing things like that is absolutely priceless and THAT IS WHAT THE SEASON REALLY IS ABOUT!

I challenge you that for one day you stop giving out your money to retail stores and isntead, give out your heart. The rewards are much to be had!

Merry Christmas everyone.

Well hopefully I'm over my platau/hump of weight loss. Week one of the challenge, I lost 0.6 of a pound, then gained it back in week two, now in week three I'm down 2.2 pounds to be 171.0. Woot!

I sure hope I can keep this up. I've been getting tighter and tighter on my diet. It's been a series of small changes along the way and after seeing my weight loss this week, it gives me even more desire to stick with it and reach my goal.

My very short term goal is to break 170 and my medium term goal is 160 and then I reevaluate from there.

I did some Christmas shopping yesterday. Not quite done but got most of it out of the way. I'm hoping to finish today before I go to a party tonight with some friends from school.

This is going to be the tough one. When we hang out there is always a bunch of unhealthy food available. I'm thinking I may make a salad to bring just so there is something good to eat that won't totally ruin the progress I've made so far. That is if I have the time to stop by the store to pick up the stuff I need. I may be shopped out again.

Last night I finished shopping right when rush hour hit and I just didn't feel like dealing with it so I dropped in to the local book store (Hastings) and looked at books and sat and drank a tea while I read for about 45 minutes or so. It was nice.

I bought a book called Stitch and Bitch Nation. It's a knitting book. I just picked up knitting not too long ago and am hoping this book inspires me to stick with it. I think it would be really cool to make some of my own stuff to wear. Especially if it looks cute.

There are some really neat things to make in the book. I'm going to start simple with a cool pattern for a scarf, some cat toys, and the work up to a doggie sweater for a friend (I don't have a dog yet) and then on to these reall awesome leg warmer type things and fingerless gloves.

But before I do all of this, I need to finish the scarf I started. I'm just about there. I'm a slow knitter. I was hoping to have it done by Christmas but we'll see. It takes me a while but I'm about halfway through this ball of yarn and I may do one more depending on the length of it. We'll see.

I'm so aggravated right now! It seems like I keep losing and then gaining the same half pound.

What really confuses me though is that I'm losing inches. So far, since the begining of november, I've lost an inch off my waist, upper arms, and thighs so that's a good thing.

I'm thinking this weeks weigh-in is due to one of two things and I'm leaning heavily on the first.

1.) I ate a very not so good for you meal last night that was pretty high in sodium and of course I eat it right before bed without drinking a whole lot of water so I'm wondering if I'm retaining some water.

Solution: Going to reweigh myself tomorrow morning to see if that's the case. If there's a difference of at least a half pound, then I'll know.

2.) And I like this option as well. I've recently upped the pounds on my weights that I'm lifing and I'm gainig muscle and since muscle is more dense than fat, that would explain why I'm losing inches and not weight.

We'll see. Tomorrow will tell which theory is really at work here.

I will survive. No matter how many times I try I know I'll stay alive!

I was released to go back to work as of Thursday and unexpectedly put myself on the schedule for Friday. Like I said, unexpectedly. It was open and I really wanted to go back after being off for 2 months (OK, I worked two short shifts during this time but I don't really count them).

As soon as I got my schedule done, I headed straight to the grocery store to get some shopping for some easy work friendly and healthy foods. I will be making another trip soon to stock up even more but this was a scramble so I went for what I knew worked.

I packed my food for the day the night before and even entered it into my nutrition tracker on www.sparkpeople.com to give myself some accountability (basically to make me stay on track).

I was 99% successful in sticking with my diet and I'm so proud of myself! Work is where I seemed to really fall off the wagon because so many unhealthy/un-nutritious foods are freely available (not to mention free).

For example, yesterday when I came in to the unit they assigned me to, there was a butload of cake out on the table where we gave report. I managed to dodge that bullet almost completely. I can't really deprive myself so what I did was took a knife and cut a bite sized piece out so I could have just a little and that was it. I managed to stop at that.

I know down the road when the stress gets worse I'm really going to have to pull on my willpower but because my stress level was 0, I was able to keep in contril of stuff like that.

I did go over on my daily calorie alottment but I'm telling myself that I'm OK with that because I work 12.5 hour shifts and am on my feet for at least 11 of that doing patient care which I call my weight lifting for the day although I was on a general medical floor yesterday so it wasn't as bad as usual so I'm planning on hitting the gym today to do some weights.

So due to going back to work yesterday, I obviously didn't run so I am going to go out later this morning after it warms up a bit to do my first run! I'm so excited! I have everything all planned out, all I have to do is put on my clothes and go. Yay!!!!!! I'm getting butterflies in my tummy just thinking about it!

School is over too which is another reason I say that I'm a surviver!

I have officially survived my level 3 (3rd semester) nursing class and came out with a grade I totally didn't expect! I GOT A 90%!!!!!!!!!!!! In nursing school it's not an A, a 91 is an A, but I'm so freaking excited!

I was worried about this semester because I came into it so burnt out that I thought I was going to let my grade slip but I managed to keep it up! Woot!

With this grade, it should keep me in the top three in my class which is where I've been since the start of all of this back in January. I'd like to graduate top of my class, that would be really awesome for when I go for my masters, but I'll take the top 3 out of 80! That's still pretty darn good!

I'm so happy this semester is over. I took my tests all early so I'll get a full 5 week break. I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time since the first of September when I started.

For the break I'm planning on having a lot of fun by not studying and hanging out with my friends more.

Of course it can't all be fun and games so I'm going to be working 2 days a week to help make up for what I wasn't able to work previously.

Can I run now? Please? Pretty pretty please?

It got me bad yesterday. I think I'm pretty much over the muscle soreness from not using my left ankle for a month. I'm feeling very high in energy and SO READY TO RUN!!! It's killing me! Pretty soon I'm going to start counting down the hours until Friday when I can run again.

Yesterday I had to take two tests at school, got registered for classes next semester, bought my parking pass, got my clearance note from the doc for work, and then went to the gym.

It was so hard to not crank up the speed on the treadmill yesterday but I resisted. I traded in increased speed for killer hills! I did the program on the treadmill called cross country 1 which went from a 0% incline up to a 9% incline. I actually got my heart rate up in the low 180's when I was at the 9% incline just walking! It was a great tough workout that I wouldn't mind doing again. I did that for 40 minutes and then did my weight workout which lasted another 35-40 minutes.

While I was at the gym, I got my body fat percentage tested and it came out to 28% which puts me in the overweight category. I'm not too sure that it was accurate because when the guy tested me, he didn't test any part of my lower body at all and you can't possibly get an overall body fat percentage without checking all over. He checked my arms front and back, my upper back, and my hip and that was all.

If anything, I figure that I can use this just as a gauge. I'm planning on having it done again in a month to see where I am. Even though it probably isn't accurate, I can still use it.

I did good things diet wise this week too! My aunt is in town, she came in Sunday and we met for dinner at Chili's. Since I knew that was where we were going to go, I hopped online to check the nutrition values of the meals and planned out my whole meal and pretty much stuck to it! I got the margarita grilled chicken but instead of the rice and beans, I substituted the seasonal veggies which saved me a lot of calories, enough that I could have a margarita and still stay within my calorie budget!

Every day this gets easier and easier. I'm so glad that I've made the changes that I have. Maybe I will reach my goal weight before having a kid. That's the whole point of all of this. I figure if I lose the weight before, I have a better chance of having a healthy baby and the weight should come off a little easier since I will have a system down already.

Today is my final day of school. I have to drive downtown and take a few tests and then I'm done and I'll register for my classes next semester.

I'm so glad this semester is over. Although this wasn't the hardest semester academically, it was frustrating organizational wise.

The first half actually was great but it was the second half that was a nightmare! The secion director person had so much going on and her lectures were so all over the place it was rediculous! We wouldn't find out about things until the very last minute which makes it really hard to plan your time well.

So that's that.

After I finish my tests, I'm going to go to the gym and lift some weights and walk on the treadmill.

I'd walk outside today but it's so windy I'm dreading it, plus I need to get into the gym to lift. I didn't lift at all last week, I just walked outside. Last week was rough and I take a week off of weight lifting every 4-6 weeks and I was due anyway so it worked out in the end.

Today I'm going to resume my regular wight lifting schedule of twice a week doing a push/pull split. Push muscles on one day, pull muscles on another. I can get back to doing lower body work now that I'm out of the cast.

Had an eff it meal for dinner. Was just so incredibly hungry so I ate a lot of pizza. It was OK. I feel alright today. Gotta keep it in check though. I like to save at least one eff it meal for Saturday morning when we go out to breakfast after we all meet to run. It's a tradition that I've had for years and don't want to break. I do still try to keep it as healthy as possible by ordering eggwhites dry instead of scrambled eggs, and I only eat half of what I order and save the other half for lunch (this happens if we go to Weck's where the portions are enough for 2-3 people in one plate!)

I'd be really happy if I lost a pound this week. Still waiting to get out of the 170's. I'm so close!!!!

It's turned out pretty well. I started at 173.2 and am down to 172.6 so I lost 0.6 pounds this week which seems realistic for me to keep up. Would have liked to lose a pound but yesterday was a gift exchange where I let it go a little and ate several small helpings of deserts and some really yummy appetizers. Tried to balance it with fruit and beer. Yes I said beer. Yum!

I think I've finally found out where my calorie range should be. Before, I was trying to keep my calories too low and I felt low on energy and my mood changed but now that I have a better grasp on my range, I feel normal, if not really good when I eat in that range. I added 300 calories-ish per day. It's amazing what that little amount can do for you.

So this was my first week out of the boot as well. I'm not allowed to run until December 11. Doc said to just walk for 10 days to build up my muscles which didn't have to work while I was in the boot.

I've been walking quite a bit. I walked 4 miles yesterday with the group and have walked several other times during the week.

The only part that is sore are those muscles that I have to build back up again so if I have a particularly busy day on my feet, I try to rest the next day until the soreness goes away and then I go for a nice long walk again adding on a few minutes each time to get my muscles to where I need them to be to be able to run.

I talked to the doc about the C25k plan and he thinks it's a good way to get back and so do I.

When I get back to it, I may start somewhere in the middle of the plan and work up from there but we'll see. That first day is really going to be an experiment and I'm not sure what my body will do.

I know I've lost fitness while I was out but I don't know exactly how much.

The good news is that with all the years behind me of working out and stuff, it shouldn't take me too long to build myself back up. I'm guessing a couple of months before I get to my regular long run routine.

We'll see.

Merry Christmas all!

It's nice to know that I have control over two things today. My nutrition and my fitness. Do I eat well and exercise or do I sloth? Hmmmmmmmm........

Today I took two "practice" tests that are supposed to predict how well a person will do on the NCLEX exam. I've taken two previous tests in med-surg and totally rocked them, ranking in the 93-97th percentile.

Not so much anymore. Today the two tests I took were psych and maternal/baby nursing. My two weakest subjects.

It totally showed on my test results too. I totally bombed them. Not just a little bomb but I'm talking atomic size bombed them!!!! I didn't even meet the standard on them and I'm totally bummed about it!

I know I've been slacking but I'm still doing well, close to the top of my class, but this was all foreign to me today!

I'm sure the migraine doesn't help at all. It started last night and has gotten worse through today. I did take some Tylenol before the test but it wasn't enough. When I get these I can't concentrate on anything for the life of me. Grrrrrrrrr....

So I will regain control by going for a walk without the boot! Yay!!!!!! And I will keep my nutrition in check.

So today is a new day right? I sure hope so because if it isn't, I'm screwed!

Thanksgiving was good. I'm feeling 100% better now. I really wonder if all my yucky-ness came from overeating. I didn't intend to overeat. I even served my dinner on a smaller salad plate while everyone else used the bigger plates. I got some wierd looks but I don't really care.

I filled my plate with a serving of meat, a good heaping serving spoon full of sweet potato banana stuff, a small spoonful of homemade cranberry sauce, a small serving of mashed potatoes and a very very small serving of stuffing. No gravy! The sweet potato banana stuff was so good that I had another smaller spoonful of that on round two. After dinner we played games and I ate a lot of fudge. My friend made fudge and I couldn't resist, taking two small pieces at one time. Must have eaten like 10 pieces of the stuff! Then we had pumpkin pie. I had one piece, told the husband to give me a small one and he gave me a normal sized one and of course I ate it all which is why I asked for the smaller sized piece in the first place. Then I topped it all off with two glasses of red wine (pinot noir).

After that, I spent the next 24 hours in misery. Nothing settled right and I was always afraid I was going to throw it all back up again. I was convinced that by the time I woke up the next morning, the previous night's dinner was already gone from all the trips I had to make to the bathroom. It was plain miserable.

At least it's done and out of the way. Eating on Christmas has never been a big focus for me so I'm not as worried about overeating then as I was for Thanksgiving.

I have to admit though, I've gotten better about my choices such as not taking the gravy and getting small portions of stuffing.

I also did something a little different this year. I always make my potatoes butter and margarine free and use light sour cream and milk instead. This year I used a small amount of light sour cream, finished it off with light yogurt and a splash of milk. I couldn't tell the difference! They came out so good that I'm going to start doing this more often!

So today is a new day. I'm feeling better and will be able to get back on track.

Today is also the start of the 5% winter weight loss challenge. It goes from today until February and the point is to lose 5% of your weight in that time.

This comes out to a little more than 8 pounds for me. Seems very reasonable.

Wish me luck! I'm gonna need it!

Ugh. That's all I can really say for how I feel right now.

Yesterday for Thanksgiving, we had some friends over and we had a lot of good food plus we played games. It was so much fun! Everything worked out so well I couldn't have asked for much better.

Until the wee hours this morning when I got sick. I felt so terrible. I was up and down, up and down, from 1:30 to about 5 this morning. I don't know if it was because I overate or what but I had it coming out all over.

The husband didn't get sick so that's why I'm wondering if it's because I ate too much or my body didn't like the wine I was drinking (only had 2 glasses so hangover isn't an option).

Either way, I learned my lesson and have absolutely no desire to eat much at all right now.

It's 1pm, I got out of bed at 9am and my stomach is still protesting although at least it's not lurching anything out.

Here it is, the eve of Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for. The first thing is life. I thank my mom and dad for giving that to me. It's been a good one!

I'm also thankful for all of the friends I've made here in Albuquerque! You guys are what makes this place feel like home and that is priceless!!!

I'm thankful for my husband and all of the support he's given me in this past year that I've been in nursing school. It's been a rough one but I know I can count on him!

I'm thankful for my 2 kitties because they are the best stress busters ever!!! There's nothing better than sitting down and being surrounded by these two lumps of purring fur. Beautiful!

I'm thankful for beer, oh beer! Light of course! It seems to really take the edge off a rough day sometimes. Oh yeah, can't forget wine either! My favorite!

I could go on and on but I'm tired and need a nap (I'm thankful for those too!).

Watch out! A woman with a plan could potentially be dangerous! :)

As the day of my next doctor's appointment with the podiatrist comes up I think more and more about planning my comeback and it's so exciting!

I have a feeling I will be released to cycling first which is A-OK with me! I actually get butterflies in my stomach thinking about it I'm so excited!

The main purpose for thinking of my comeback plan has to do with running since the injury I have is running related.

I've been thinking about it for a few days and then today as I'm checking my www.sparkpeople.com page, I had my ah ha moment! C25K!!!

For those of you who aren't familiar with the C25K, it stands for Couch 2 5k. This is a plan for people coming straight from the couch to get them up and running (pun intenteded). So today I go to www.coolrunning.com and print out a copy of the plan to bring to the podiatrist a week from Tuesday.

If I get his OK for it, then I'm going to follow this plan and then work my way back up.

If I get his blessings, my tentative plans are to do a sprint tri in April and then a 10k in May. From there, it's hard to tell. I'd really like to get into half marathon shape again before I get pregnant but I'll just have to see how things work out.

After I finish the C25k plan, In Motion will be starting so that will work out perfect for me as a transition to Albuquerque Fit which starts in April.

I'm so excited! I'm crossing my fingers that it all works out!

Yep! I survived one more week of relearning how to live with a new lifestyle.

My biggest challenge this past week was when I went out with a few people after school on Friday.

To start off the day, someone brought in a lot of junk food for us to eat so I indulged in some chips and queso (sp?) and a powdered donut. The donut actually didn't taste so good so next time it comes up, I'll know I can pass on that and not feel like I'm missing anything. The food was brought in because we were watching some movies for part of our psych rotation in school.

After class we went to the bar for some drinks. I got my usual Corona Light with a lime. I always order light beer so that when I drink it, and I only had one, I don't feel like I'm ruining the whole day.

The three of us ordered appetizers to share for lunch since it was that time. We ordered this combination type appetizer that ended up being enough to feed like 6 people or so and it was all fried food. Fried okra, mushrooms (yum!), zuccini (yum), and cheese sticks. Suffice to say it was basically a heart attack on a plate. I figured I could have some though since I'd done pretty well throughout the week so I did. I tried to eat more of the mushrooms and zuccini and had 2 of the cheese sticks. I was so full from lunch that when I got home I had a super light dinner.

That's the thing with all of this is that every time I encounter something like this, I try to learn from it. What I learned this week is that I can pass on the storebought donuts. They did nothing for me other than taste processed.

Every week I'm learning how to balance things and that is another principle that I put into play on Friday.

Another valuable thing I learned is to pack my food and bring it with me! I was saved by packing my food on Thursday. I had planned on eating my lunch at school but we got out early enough that it didn't happen so I went and took care of some things that needed to be done. While taking care of what I needed to do, it was so tempting to stop in the cafeteria and pick something quick up. But I kept reminding myself that I took time this morning to pack some healthy food and that I really should eat that and I did! I totally passed on the cafeteria and I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!

Last night was kind of a challenge for me too but I'm so happy at how well I did! It was another potluck type of situation with some unhealthy food avaialble. Luckily it was with the group that I coach and we're all generally good about brining healthy stuff to eat for main/side dishes so what I did was I filled half of my plate with salad and just a little bit of dressing and then filled the other half of my plate with a portion of protein and then left a little space for some not-so-good but good for the soul food. I know it wasn't perfect but I'm getting better at navigating these types of things which is one of my biggest pitfalls.

So, lessons learned this week: still working on balancing meals (getting better at it), I can pass on the store bought donuts and not miss a thing other than guilt and who wants that and, the most valuable lesson I learned this week was that always having healthy food around and ready to go makes it so much easier to resist temptations such as convenience foods/unhealthy stuff.

Tuesday is the weigh in. We'll see how it goes. I'm a little nervous because of how Friday went.

Let's start off with the good because I like good. Good is happy and fun.

I weighed in this morning and saw that I lost another 2 pounds much to my surprise. I didn't have time to measure so I don't know how everything else turned out. My next small/big goal is to get below 170. That would be awesome and I'm so close!!!!!

Last week was rough as far as the diet goes. I ate out 3 times and tried my best to do the balancing game. Apparently it worked but it was really hard. The most difficult day was Friday when we ate out for lunch (it was the end of clinicals) and then Scott and I went out for dinner that night to a pizza place (Il Vicino) with friends we hadn't seen in a while. I ordered a healthy sounding sandwich, not pizza, had them hold the dressings and add extra good stuff like tomatoes. Did I mention lunch on Friday was at a bar? Bars do not equal healthy food but I did my best with a ham and cheese sandwich, hold the mayo. I did splurge on fries and a Corona Light (with a lime of course!) and they were sooooo good!

This whole injury thing is really starting to take it's toll on me mentally. I had been doing very well in holding it all off but something changed over the weekend and now I'm totally down in the dumps about it.

It seems that everywhere I go I see people running and I want so badly to be one of those people! I remember what it was like to be one of those people! It was fantastic! It's hard though because every time I see someone running, I feel like I'm being slapped in the face with reality.

My mind is really starting to get the best of me. It seems silly to me that I would feel like this but I do and it's very real. I try as hard as I can to get my fix but nothing seems to really help. Swimming doesn't get my heartrate up, plus it hurts my ankle if I do it too long and I can only do the eliptical for 20 minutes which is enough to get the heart rate up if I put the resistence up high (which I do) but it's not long enough for all the "make me feel good" chemicals in my brain to get going and that is what I'm really missing out on. I know this is wrong on every level but I'm so tempted to go into the gym and hit the elliptical for a good 45 minutes at a good pace with the resistance up there (8-9/10). I think that may start to trigger the feel good stuff again.

I miss me and I'm sure everyone else around me misses the old me too. I'd like to apologize now for how I've changed over the past few weeks. I just want you to know that I really am trying my best and I'm doing everything possible to be in a good mood.

I never really believed in being addicted to running until now. When someone says they are addicted, I totally understand and can relate! There's nothing like moving your feet over the ground (especially the trails!), feeling your heart beat and your breath coming evenly, in, out, in, out, thump, thump, thump, thump. Then the only sounds you hear are those of your footsteps, your light breathing, and those of the world happening around you while you are on your morning communte as well.

I always get a kick out of running the paseo trail/north diversion channel during rush hour in the morning. I love to think how everyone is going through their morning communte to their offices all stressed out about what their day is going to bring them and here I am, "commuting" in the only way a runner really can. Totally free of stress and care and worry. It really is a great and beautiful feeling. I also know I can go home and have some more coffee. That makes it all the more sweet.

More good news is that the pain in my foot is greatly reduced. I tried yoga last night. I did yoga fit's Powerful Yoga. It's a great DVD and I really enjoyed it but I'm feeling it today. My whole upper body is sore and my ankle is a little sore as well.

Seeing as I was working a flu clinic yesterday and it was dead and I had a lot of time on my hands, I did a little more research on what's going on with my ankle. The best description that I found from the mayoclinic.com and medscape.com is that my bone isn't broken but my cartilage is.

So yes, I am officially broken.

Today is a real tough mental day for me because I want to go work out but with the way my body reacted to doing the yoga last night, I know it would not be a smart thing to do. I'm craving my fix so bad that it's killing me though! I wish I could just put on my running shoes and go run my 3 mile loop (that is now partially torn up due to a road being built but it's still there!) right out my door.

To add a little sting to this, Scott comes home yesterday with mint chocolate ice cream. Now if you know me well, and I'm sure you do now, you know that mint chocolate ANYTHING is right up there with chocolate and peanutbutter. I just can't resist it and when you put it in ice cream, it's toast. Come to my tummy!

What I'm saying is that Scott comes home with one of the worst possible foods for me to have in the house right now because ice cream is a comfort food for me.

Scott is also working nights this week and then is going to Tuscon for the bike race on Thrusday and won't be home until Sunday. I'm really wondering how I'm going to deal with this. I have a feeling I'm going to be at the gym a lot.

Today was the day. The day to weigh in. I missed it on Monday so I made up for it today.

Here are the stats

Week one
Weight: 175
Waist: 33"
Hips: 40"

Week two (today)
Weight: 174
Waist: 32.75
Hips: 39.5

All of that in one week! Plus my diet wasn't quite where it needed to be the past few days. I didn't blow the whole days completely but I did make some not so good choices but I would make up for it with healthy choices.

I struggle everyday to keep my balance and every day that I keep striving for that balance, it gets easier and easier.

Making change in life is tough. I had to actually convince myself that I wanted to do this. I knew that I NEEDED to because I really want to be in great shape. I knew I wanted it but the problem was wanting the changes that were going to have to be made. I've done a lot of reading and arguing with myself (the arguments were interesting to say the least) and finally things are sinking in and my motivation is there.

I would say it's still a lukewarm motivation though becasue I find it quite easy to go for those not so healthy foods. What I like to do to keep up my motivation is to look at my Oxygen magazines of these women who are lean with good muscle tone. I don't necisarily want to be as lean as they are. Add 5-10 pounds onto their frames and I think that would be a reasonable amount of body fat to maintain and then if I needed to, I could lean up for vacations or whatever comes up that I want to look extra hot for. :-)

I think my challenge this week is going to be to stay on track with the healthy foods and not overeating.

We went grocery shopping last night and we got a lot of good healthy food. The only junk food I bought are these mint truffle hersey's kisses. I bought these becasue I don't want to totally depreive and I know I can eat two or three of these and not blow it while taking the edge off.

It's little things like that that I have to rediscover to keep myself going.

So tomorrow is the big "date" with the scale. We'll see how it goes. What's funny is that I realize that I really shouldn't go by weight but it's good motivation for me to see those numbers go down.

All in all, the really important factor is going to be when I "undergrow" my clothes and I have to start buying new ones but without taking measurements and whatnot, how do I know I'm making progress?

I could go by how I feel but I'm such a numbers dork that I'm more motivated by numbers than that. Number of pounds I weigh, the number (size) of my clothes, the size of my waist, thighs, upper arms, hips, and the list goes on. If I really wanted to, I could totally surround myself in numbers but then I may end up in a corner in the fetal position from too much stimulation.

So what is the point of all of this you ask? MODERATION! Moderation in everything!

Today I broke down and just couldn't take it anymore. The husband and I went to breakfast this morning and talked over the morning paper. It was so nice. We used to do this quite regularly before I started running so it was like old times. Because of this, I allwed myself to have a little more than usual (aka "cheat" btw, I loathe that word). Sometimes you just need to but I don't always do this (think moderation).

After breakfast he went to work and went to work out at the gym. It was so nice. I've been going absolutely insane not being able to run. It's really had an effect on all aspects of my life because I'm not getting my usual endorphin rush. I'm missing my rush so much that I gave in and did the eliptical today for 20 minutes after my weight workout.

Now don't go freaking out on me. I got the OK from the doctor to do this! He said I can cycle for 20 minutes, use the eliptical for 20 minutes, or swim all I want (I don't think he realized when he said I could swim all I want that it meant a minimum of an hour at a time but anyhow...... :) )

After doing this I feel almost human. I hit the eliptical at a moderate level of intensity. I have to say that it was quite ackward to do the eliptical in the boot. Not being able to move my ankle through it's full range of motion really put my balance off so I had to hold on to the bars the whole time but I managed. While I was on the eliptical I acutally felt human for the first time in two weeks. It was wonderful!!!!!

Today I also started my Learn To Chin program where the eventual goal is to be able to do wide grip, real pull ups or chins. Let's just say I have quite a ways to go. I got the program out of one of my Oxygen magazines. It says to use a Smith machine to start and you put the bar so that when your hands are on it with your arms extended, your butt is a few inches off the ground and then you pull yourself up. Much easier said than done.

I did my upper body routine with free weights and then went to this so I was already tired. I hit the weights pretty good today. The first set of these went great! I was able to knock out 6 in a row! Woot! The second set was a bit harder and I barely squeaked that 6th rep out. Come the third set, I was toast! I barely made 3 reps before I just couldn't anymore.

Yes, I am definately a work in progress but I'd really like to be able to do a pull up. I've only ever done one real one in my whole life and that is when I was 15 and was very lean.

I think for the first time ever I kept an accurate record of the food that I ate and it came out to 1585 and I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know my meals aren't perfect but I'm so happy that I was able to eat like that and not be hungry. I was convinced when I loaded it all in that I would easily be over 2000 calories!!!

That was yesterday. Today with my planned dinner I am at 1768 so a bit high but then again, I gave in to the sour cream that I had in the fridge so I had the oh-so-nutritious lunch of sour cream (low fat) and multi grain tostitos. OOPS!!

This is definately a weigh loss in progress.

I did weigh myself the other day and am down to 173. I have a feeling that I got up to 173 after my "halloween candy/food binge" over the weekend. My official weigh in day is going to be Monday so that will be the true measure of where I am.

It's kind of nice to know that I have a date with my scale on Monday. It's really going to make me rethink my choices on Sunday. Sunday's are historically my worst eating days because that is the day I go to church and have study group. I try to bring healthy food to study group but sometimes I give in to temptation and then feel guilty about it. This week the plan is to go to the store and buy some strawberries and grapes so I can snack on those instead of junk. I don't feel guilty when I eat fresh fruit like that.

OK, so I have only one gripe for the week and that is the husband (sorry hun!). I come home one night and he has bought a thing of 7 layer dip and two bags of those Totino's Pizza rolls. I feel like he's secretly trying to sabatoge me and it irks me to no end!

Exercise has been tough lately with my foot and all. I was able to water run on Monday night for 25 minutes and I finished the rest of my workout in the pool off with swimming laps. All in all I exercised for 1 hour 10 minutes which is about right. I aim for 1 hour during the week (three days a week) and then 2 hours on Saturday and 2-3 hours on Sunday. That was the pre-injury training schedule which included running (the majority of my time), lifting weights (can't wait to get back to this, I'm hoping next week!), swimming (about an hour), and biking.

So far this week I've just done the one workout because my foot has been swollen still and painful. It's not worth it to push it so I'm going to go swim some gentle laps tomorrow and bring my water wieghts so I can get some muscle toning exercise in and the go swim on Friday.

Saturday is still up in the air. I'm thinking of going to the pool Saturday morning but we'll see how things work out.

I have to play it all by ear right now and let my injury guide my duration and frequency of exercise.

Yep. Injured and it sucks. The good part is that it gives me more time to study, sit around thinking about running and cycling (can swim all I want), and lose weight.

That's why I'm writing this today. I figure if I get it all out there then maybe it will help me be accountable for my actions meaning, holding myself accountable for what I'm going to be putting into my mouth.

I started up my sparkpeople.com page again and put in measurements. Here they are

Weight: 175 (this is after two halloween parties and too much candy...was 173 before)
Waist: 33in
Hips: 40in
Thigh: 24.5in
Upper arm: 14.25in

I don't really have a size goal right now. Ideally I'd like to get down to a 6 but shorter term I'm thinking 8 or 10. I'm a 12 right now.

The main goal is to lose 10 pounds in the next two months which means 5 pounds a month or an average of 1.25 pounds per week which seems very reasonable to me.

The trick is going to be Thanksgiving and Christmas on top of being in nursing school (think: added stress) and being injured.

Because of that, I'm really going to have to concentrate on what I eat.

I'm in some sick way, looking forward to this. I've lost weight before. Used to weigh in at a heafty 235 at my highest and have kept the weight off for about 7 years now. I know I can do it.

Since it's the begining of November, I figured that now would be a good time to start.

I'm running into challenges already. Last night the husband and I went out to eat and I didn't really want to but it was nice to get out of the house. I'd been studying all afternoon and evening. The challenge is that it was hard for me to find a place that was healthy to eat at so we went to Wendy's. I ordered a grilled chicken (no lettuce. yuck!) and a chili with a caffiene free diet coke. I probably could have done better on the chicken and told them to hold the sauce but all in all I'm fairly happy with the decisions I've made.

Today I'm going gorcery shopping and I'm going to stock up on chicken and healthy easy stuff to make. The biggest hurdle for me is eating a healthy breakfast. I'm afraid it's going to come down to having to set the alarm clock earlier so I can get up and cook. If I have to I will though. It will be worth it in the end.

So much has happened since I've written here. I'm done with level II nursing and finished second (or third) in my class. Not exactly sure but I know I finished pretty high up there. I don't think I got an A but I don't really want to take the time to log in to find out. When I'm on break from school, I'm really on break and refuse to crack a book unless it's for work (whichis a different story).

Life has been quite the whirlwind lately. I applied for a nurse extern position at UNMH and got hired on in July but just worked my first real shift yesterday. There is a lot of training involved when you get hired on and most of it conflicted with school and I had already missed more school than I wanted to (I really dont' like to miss any at all) so I refused to miss any more until it was over. I finished training on Wednesday and then did my first shift yesterday in 7S.

7S is a cardiac sac unit. I didn't mind it too much at all. I saw a few people from the old job there so that was nice. It eased my nerves a bit. It's always hard being the new kid of the block because you really have to cross your I's and dot your T's. Ha!

I basically shadowed an RN yesterday and did a lot of passing meds and learning the policies and proceedures and equipment. My brain was so full by the end of the day that I coudln't even think anymore. There's so much to learn yet I feel like I don't know a thing! From what everyone says, this is normal but even still, the feeling sucks.

It was wierd because I know I know what I'm doing but as soon as I got out of my comfort zone and into a new place, it seemed like everything I learned from clinicals and class and previous experience just took a holiday. I don't like being uncomfortable but I know that if I don't put myself into uncomfortable positions, I'll never grow so it's a good bad feeling if that makes sense.

So to start my day yesterday, I got a speeding ticket on the way to work. Luckily I had left the house way early (I'm used to being required to be at the hospital 30 minutes early for school) so I was only 10 minutes late. It's not the way to start off at this place. I was almost wondering if this was God's way of saying this isn't supposed to work out but who knows. The rest of the day turned out so well so who knows. Only time will tell.

I got to see my first code at the new place yesterday too. It was just like any other code I've ever seen except there were a TON of people in the room! At the other/old job, the only people in the room when a code was happening was those that were doing something. At this place, since it's a teaching hospital, there were a bunch of us in there just watching. There had to be at least 20-25 people in there! What was nice is that the pt survived. That doesn't happen very often at all.

So after all of that yesterday I went for a swim after work. It felt so good I could have swam for another hour or so but I didn't because I knew I had to get home.

Last Friday my family came in from Iowa and Illinois. For the first time in my life I got to really know my sister and spend time with her. She also brought her two daughters (my nieces). I had such a blast getting to know her. It was really neat learning how much we really do have in common. I'm sure there's more to come as we stay in touch.

My mom, aunt, cousin, sister, 2 nices, and my grandma all got our pictures taken together at JC Penny's and they turned out so good! I thought it would be a good idea to do something like that. My grandma has been having some problems since her stroke and my mom is not in good health either so having these pictures taken was really special.

I got injured at the end of June begining of July so I had to take some time off running but I'm back now. My plan is that I'm going to do run/walk intervals for the rest of the season to make sure I don't get injured again and then go from there. I'd like to do the P.F. Chang's half marathon in Arizona in January but we'll see. That's just an idea I'm kicking around. I am going to do Denver in October though. I've never been to Denver so I'm really looking forward to that.

I also have two more triathlons on the board. I originally was going to do the Chili Harvest Tri in Socorro but because of my injury, I didn't make it. So now I'm planing on doing the Patriot Day Tri in September and then the Jingle Bell Tri in December. The Jingle Bell Tri will be just for fun. I've been doing fairly well at getting my swim and bike workouts in but I've only been hitting them about once a week since running is my priority right now. I'm trying to run 4 days a week and swim and bike on the other two, leaving myself one rest day. I'm trying not to double up my workouts right now because of the injury and because of my schedule. I just have to do what I can reasonably fit in and not kill myself since school takes up so much time. I don't want to be exhausted.

I never thought I would write a blog about this but it's something that I need to get out because it bothers me.

I woke up this morning feeling very good about myself which I have to admit, doesn't happen often. I remember thinking as I was taking off my wedding ring to put on my "substitute" for clinicals that I could never go without my ring because of it's significance of the commitment that I made to my husband before God and my family. My wedding ring, no matter if it's the original or the substitute is that constant reminder of that commitment that I made almost 7 years ago.

So I get to clinicals today feeling very well about myself and I was excited to see I would be working with a particular nurse who was very helpful to me yesterday. I learned a lot from this person.

I got report from him and started my day. I made sure to communicate to him what I was doing with the pt and how the pt was responding. As an RN, I would want my students to do the same for me. I treated this person like I would anyone else.

We had a mistake that was made on the previous shift that the doctor got very upset about and I can't blame him so to see how we would fix it, I went through every step with the nurse. I wanted to learn what I would need to do when I graduate. It was a genuine interest in the process so we went to the kitchen to fix what needed to be fixed and then there is an incident report that needs to be filled out so I asked him to let me know when he got to a point where he could fill it out and I could watch, again to learn from this experience.

All went well with that. This person was working only a half shift and he said he wanted to talk to me about something before he left so I was thinking that he had some pointers or something nursing related to talk to me about so I said OK. If things calm down, I'll come talk to you.

Things didn't calm down and I was in the pt's room doing a bed bath when he comes in (I'm assuming to find me but I'm not sure). As I'm cleaning up, we're talking about work and stuff (I work at the same hospital family where I"m doing clinicals, just a different location) and then he asks me for my number.

I should have known better but at the time I thought it was so that we could hang out some time as friends. You know, like get a group together to just chill. That sort of thing.

Then I'm sitting in post conference with everyone and my phone beeps at me three times. I had forgotten to turn it off in the morning since I didn't carry it in my pocket today. This was odd because normally I carry my phone with me.

Anyhow....I turn bright red and apologize profusely but my instructor told me I could look at it so I did and my heart just sank.

I got a text message (well, actually 3) from this person saying basically that they knew I was married but he thought blah blah blah and wanted to take me out on a date. He even finished it with "I'm not optimistic"

It just dumbfounds me that someone would do this. It makes me totally question their moral character. I remember him asking me several times throughout the day if I was married and I said yes. He even asked me how many years I was married for and I told him. I never tried to hide it because I'm proud of my marriage and my husband.

In my heart I really feel like satan found me at somewhat of a weak point (not thinking clearly) and tried to get me to stray away from God but I wasn't about to falter. This was the first thing that came to my mind.

I talked to a friend after class and she mentioned how as a christian we will get challenged more and I was telling her how I have never had this happen to me before in my 7 years of marriage.

I told her I have only been going to church for about 2 years and maybe that's why it didn't happen before this.

The whole situation just makes me uncomfortable. I can't believe that someone would would do something like this knowing I'm married. That's why I believe satan was at work here.

The nice thing for me to find out is how quickly I turned to God. I didn't even have to think about it, it was second nature. I find peace in that I was able to turn to God so quickly. When I invited him back into my life, I meant it and today I found out just how much it means to me to have God in my life. If it weren't for God, I may have fallen into temptation. Who knows but I know with God by my side and with my ears open to his voice, I will always be led down the right path if I listen.

I'm so glad I listened today.

Quote from a favorite song of mine:

"Joy unspeakable that won't go away.
Just enough strength to live for today,
I'll never have to worry what tomorrow will bring,
'Cause my faith is on a solid rock,
I'm counting on God"

Had my first day of real clinicals today. It actually went well except for the nurse I was assigned to. She wasn't the most friendly of sports. My instructor (and those of us who had her as well) likened her to the word bitch. She was very rude and not so helpful. I'm glad she won't be working tomorrow. Maybe I'll get someone who isn't inconvenienced by students.

I found her this morning and was asking her for report and I had to ask several times and then she got an attitude about it. It was not a good way to start off my day.

So last night I worked on my care plan. These new care plans don't take nearly as long as the old ones from level one. I'm so happy for that. I actually had time to study lecture stuff last night which was unheard of in level one. Yay!

All in all, the day wasn't so bad. I got a lot done and the tech that I shared a patient with today was super super helpful! I got to talk to two of the techs and they were both really really nice. I was very thankful for that.

I'm skipping another workout today. For some reason both of my ankles are sore and I don't want to put myself out with an injury. I believe I over did it with my speed workout on Tuesday.

If I learned only one thing this year about running and injuries....that is to take a few days off at the first signs of an ache no matter how hard it is to to take those days off because it will save you a lot of hurt and frustration in the future. Unfortunately I had to learn that one the hard way but I'm done with not listening to my body. I didn't listen after my last marathon in November and ran 10 miles the next week while I was still supposed to be recovering and then I kept going and ended up having to take almost two weeks off in January because of (SURPRISE!) an injury. I feel like I'm still making up for that lost time. No more. I'm done with not listening! :-)

Pretty much sums it all up.

Got a new job and I'm nervous. I got a nurse extern position at the other big hospital here in town (I work at the other big one). I'm excited but I feel off at the same time. I really like where I work now but they don't have nurse extern positions so I had no choice but to look other places which sucks. I was really hoping to not have to do that but it is what it is.

I'm still apprehensive about it though. It sounds like I'm going to be a floating tech, more or less. I figure I'm going to try it for a while and if it's not working out, I'll quit and go back to working my usual schedule at the usual place. Even if it does work out, I'm still keeping my position at the usual place. It's a good thing because I'll have a foot in at each place which opens up more opportunities for me when I graduate. The new job pays quite a bit more than the other job and if I stay at the new job, the education benefits blow the other place out of the water by a looonnnngggg shot!

We'll see. I don't start for another three weeks because I needed to finish some things up at the other place so my start date is July 13.

Another good thing is that I'll be able to wear printed scrubs. There is no color coded dress code. It's a good and a bad but I'm excited because I'll get to wear something different. I'm going to go pick up a few things here in a few weeks since most of what I have is monochromatic. I definately need some new pants and I may end up buying a few tops as well just because.... :-)

OMG! We had probably the worst lecture ever today and we have to endure it again tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to going. If it's as bad as today's lecture I'm going to pop out the book and just read my book in class.

The lady who lectured today is terrible! She's very very s l o w in speech and sounds like Ben Stein (monotone) but to top it all off......she's literally trying to teach us all stuff that we have had already! I got nothing new out of the lectures today! None of us did!

One of my good friends sits in front of me and she's normally more attentive than I am and even she was squirming in her seat!

I retorted to coloring with my highlighters. Maybe tomorrow I'll bring colored pencils! Ha!

I have no clue what we were supposed to get out of this lecture except a case of severe boredom!

OK, I feel better.

I am going to go do my speedwork tonight at the store since I had atest this morning and of course it's really really hot so it will be an interesting workout. Oh well. I'm planning on buying this super cool bright orange shirt there so that's something to look forward to. Plus I get to see my friends. Yay!

I'm amazed at how I've lost my running legs. I did 7 miles last Saturday while my group did 5. My legs gave out way before my lungs! I never used to have this problem and it really threw me for a loop!!!!! The good news is that cardiovascularly, I'm in great shape! Now I just have to get my legs back on board which I'm thinking will happen here soon.

I'm supposed to run 8 miles this Saturday and then the week after that is a recovery week so I'm thinking I'll see some difference in my legs then.

I really need to get signed up for my next tri and soon since it involves staying in a hotel! I also need to sign up for the Denver half marathon but I still have some more time before that comes around.

I finally got my first magazine for my Oxygen subscription! yay! I'm so excited! I totally heart this magazine in an awesome way! The models they show are so inspirational. I like to daydream and visualize myself looking like they do! IT does absolute wonders for me when trying to lose weight. Plus there are workouts and food ideas to go with it.

It's always good to start a week with a run. A good run nonetheless. :-) Today was supposed to be speed work but I kept getting woken up by leg cramps last night so I figured that it wasn't a good idea to do speed so I swapped workouts and did my easy run today instead. I will follow it by an easy swim after school.

I'm glad I did this. I woke up this morning to no sun at all which is really unusual for being in the high desert. It was also unusually humid.

I hit the road at about 0700 and got back before 8. I took it super easy today. I was going to use my HR zones keeping my HR between 60% and 80% of MHR but my HRM wasn't picking up my HR this morning so I had to run it by feel and I'm OK with that. I kept it all super easy and actually ran the whole 3 miles with no walk breaks. I did have to slow down twice for traffic but that's it.

One of the goals I set at the beginning of May was to be able to run my easy weekday runs with no walk breaks and I finally made it! I didn't even have to think about it either. Normally I would take a walk break at every mile like we do with Albuquerque Fit.

So as I was running this morning I was thinking about what I was going to blog. Several things came to mind and they were pretty cool but, as things have it, I completely forgot about them when I got home.

It's amazing how quickly things are forgotten when on a run. I think that's why I run. It's an escape for my mind. When I run I have this uncanny ability to completely clear my mind and just think about the task at hand. Sometimes I don't even think about that (like today for example).

I could tell you the route that I ran and the turns I took and the hills that were involved (there are two doozies!) but other than that the only thing I can tell you is that it was more humid than usual, overcast with a slight breeze blowing to the east.

Oh yeah.....and I feel great and ready to face my day!

I have the test review at school today so I'm going early for that. I can't wait to see what I did wrong so hopefully I won't make those same mistakes again. I am really studying well and trying to make up for my last exam. The more I talk to my fellow classmates, the more thankful I am that I passed the exam. There were quite a few who didn't pass. The other nice thing is that we have a total of 5 tests so I can still make up for it. I'm aiming for a B. That way I can still keep my PTK memebership (it's a greek honors society).

I hope you have a blessed day and God shines down on you!

Well I survived test number one. Barely. Really I squeaked by with a passing grade but it wasn't good at all. I have never done so bad on a test and it's embarassing. This is not normal for me. Now I just need to go to the review to see where I messed things up at. I really have no clue what I did wrong (besides answer the questions worng) so it should be interesting.

I studied my rear off for this test and I feel I had a really good grasp on the concepts and the signs and symptoms of the abnormalities that we had to know. Oh well.

We found out where we are going for clinical today. I'm going to one of the farthest sites from my house. I have a site that is within walking distance from my house and they send me across town to.....get this...................

ANOTHER SKILLED FACILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I'm so aggravated with that. Next semester I'm going to tell them that I spent 2 semesters in a skilled facility and I'm not doing it again. I feel like I miss out on so much here because these patients are stable and recovering. They get OT, PT, and ST and that's about it (at least that's how it was at the last place I was at). Ugh!

Our instructor seems pretty alright though. She's going to see if we can get out of there and see different parts because she realizes the problem with this as well. I really hope it works out because she wants to put us with different specialties such as wound care and case management. She even talked about trying to get us to the ICU and I asked if the ER would be a possibility as well. So overall there is opportunity here and I can make the most of what I've been delt. I'm thinking it's a good thing that I work in critical care now so at least I get that experience that I can carry over to school.

Tomorrow we have our lab testing. I'm not too stressed about it but I'm going to review tonight before I go to bed. There are a few new things that we have to know like different injection sites for IM's and syringe and needle sizes. I was worried at first but it's all coming together now. I also get out early tomorrow. 0930!!!! Yeah! That leaves me a lot of time to study since I won't be doing that Saturday. :)

Saturday is the 50 mile bike ride that I've been working toward. It's not a race (not timed) so we're just going to go out there and have fun with it and whatever we ride it in, we ride it in. I'm looking forward to the support/food. Yum! If things go on this ride like they did on the 44 mile ride I will be able to eat a horse and then some after we're finished. That's what's nice about this. Yes I'm dieting to lose weight but when things like this come up, I can have a little wiggle room (ok....a lot) and not feel guilty about it. Of course I don't go overboard but if I want a fried something or another, I'll go for it. I'm really looking forward to margaritas and maybe some Sadie's after. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............I love Sadie's!! It's my favorite place to eat! Chicken tacos with double papas no frijoles!

Now I did it. I'm salivating on my hands. Ha!

Just finished up with the study group. We worked really well together and really got a lot done while having fun. We plan on keeping going.

So this past week was kind of rough for me when it comes to diet. I really gotta get more strict about this. I'm determined to lose this weight! I weighed myself today and I was up about 2 pounds from the last time I weighed myself which was about a week ago.

I got to face the pot luck for the first time since starting all of this, on Friday. I did decent, better than I would have in the past, but I still ate too much. I'm wondering if I'm still paying for that.

I had a few slip ups last week as well but I'm more back on track now. I did really good yesterday and today was OK. We brought snacks for the study group. I think next time I'm going to buy fruit for myself because we had heavier stuff so I'm feeling a bit "heavy" right now.

I'm getting to know how my body feels when I eat good verses when I eat bad. When I eat good everything feels good and I do better when I exercise (run, bike, swim) when I eat junk, I get junk back out and I feel like junk.

I'm really trying hard to stick with this. I'm still at a net loss but I'd like it to be a little more than it is. I'd really like to have a net loss of 5 pounds right now. That would be good.

Now watch, I'll go weigh myself tomorrow or on Tuesday and I'll be down (I hope!)

I have my first test for level II on Tuesday. I'm going to take it Tuesday morning to get it done and over with then Tuesday night I'll do what I call my pseudo speed workout. I'm going to go early to Fleet Feet and do my speed work around a really nice park and then I'm going to get some new shoes and a bra because I need them and it's double points night which this purchase will give me a $25 gift certificate! Yay!! I may use it that night to buy a shirt I've had my eyes on. Not sure yet but we'll see.

I sang in church this weekend. It was fun as always. There's nothing quite like singing love songs to the Lord. He's my everything!

I almost didn't go because I forgot about it with starting school and all but then I told myself that I had to go. It always feels so good to get up and sing songs to the Lord and I feel so much better after letting it all out. It was also nice to reconnect with my choir family and talk to them about our auditions and what is happening in life in general. I really love those guys! A lot!

As always, God is good!

So I did the 44 mile bike ride on Monday. It went 100% better than I expected. I was sore on Tuesday so I rested and then on Wednesday I ran in the morning an easy hilly 3 miler and did a form swim in the afternoon along with weights. Thursday I did my first brick workout (10 mile ride/2 mile run). That was interesting. My legs felt like jello for the first mile of the run. I'm sure it will get easier but the transition from the bike to the run is a lot harder than I thought it was. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm on a mountain bike either. :)

I did a super easy mtn trail run today of 3 miles. Went a lot better than expected as well. I'm really tired but I had a good week.

Tonight I sing at church. I'm looking forward to it. I'm sad won't be able to make it in June because of a race but it's OK. I'm allowed to miss when I have to. This is the on season anyway.

Went to breakfast after the run and hung out with friends. It was fun. I drank full strength coffee and now I'm wired. I'm wondering how long it's going to last. I think I have maybe an hour or so left and then I'll crash.

The weight loss is going good. I'm down about 5-6 pounds or so and I'm starting to feel it in my clothes which is super cool.

School is going OK. It's very busy but so far with the training and stuff I've been able to keep up with the reading and then studying. Our first test is on Tuesday and I'm a little anxious about it. Mainly because I don't know the kind of questions these teachers are going to throw out at us. Tomorrow I'm getting a small group together to study for the test. I really hope it helps.

Next Saturday I'm going to miss Albuquerque Fit because of the century ride. A friend and I are going to do the 50 mile ride. In a sick way I'm looking forward to it but it's not the actual ride I'm looking forward to right now, it's the food. I hear that when they support a bike ride, they SUPPORT a bike ride (not like a run where you rarely get food on the course). I think running people should take note of this, especially for marathons. Food = good! Yes!!!!!

I got a little massage today. My shoulders were a little sore from my long swim yesterday and now I'm feeling more relaxed. I heart massages. They're good. I'm planning on getting one before I do my next tri on August 1 and I'll probably get another one before I go to Denver since I'm looking to PR. I just hope it works out.

Life is good and all I can do is praise God for it! He is my rock that keeps me going (along with the hubby of course!!!)

What exactly can I do you ask?

Yes!

That's the simple answer.

School is going great so far this semester. You have to realize that it's only been one week though. The material is so much more interesting than last semester and I feel like I'm not being treated like a baby with my hand being held. We're finally being treated like we should be! YEAH!

I can also do the planned 40-44 mile bike ride tomorrow. I'm nervous about this because I've never gone this far before but this is going to be the ride that will determine if I do the 50 mile ride in the Albuquerque Centruy. I hope it all goes well. I'll let you know tomorrow.

I can lose weight! Another huge YEAH! As I was leaving work today, a guy I work with asked me if I had lost weight and I was over the top thrilled! I've lost somewhere about 5 pounds or so and I've been doing it the right way by eating fairly good but at the same time I let myself cheat. I think I let myself cheat a bit much last week but that's all part of the process and I'm new (again) at this so I have to expect some setbacks until this all becomes my normal routine.

And the last part. I can sing. I know I can and I know I can sing at church. I'm determined to do this and I know that if I keep at it I will. I enjoy singing so much. I'm also so thankful for the feedback that I got from my audition. From everything they said it really sounds like my nerves just got the best of me and made me freeze. I'm sure I looked terrified up there! Now my mission is to go out and sing where I can. Probably lots of kareoke because that will be in public with a mic and all that good stuff. Then I'll audition again. I really don't know if I'll audition in July or in October. It all just depends but, I WILL BE BACK and this time I'm going to own my performance and bring my own song to sing on top of what they give us. I just know I can do it with the right amount of work.

That's all.

Good night.

OK, what is happening here? I went for a run this morning. It was supposed to be a super easy 2 mile run out and back from my pad. Yeah, not so much. I felt like I struggled the whole time. I didn't feel super tired or anything. It's just wierd. I feel like I'm back at square one and I'm glad I still have a week and a half or so before I start my training schedule. What gives?!?!?!?!!?!!

This just bothers me how hard this run felt today. Now, about two and a half hours after I finished I feel fine. It's been over a week since my tri so I don't think I can blame it on recovery anymore. That excuse is gone.

I'm so stumped and I feel like the wind has been taken out of my sails. Tonight I am going to go for an easy swim. I need to destress after this run. That and I have a brand spanking new swim suit hanging up in my bathroom that I haven't worn yet. It was my reward for finishing my first tri and doing fairly well.

School is OK so far. I went into yesterday completely prepped for the wrong lecture though so now I'm even more behind in my reading than I planned but it's OK. I'm reading in little spurts here and there to get caught up. I'm expecting to be fully caught up by Thursday night. No worries. Then I can start working on the next lecture.

I felt like such a dum-dum when I showed up though. Luckily the lecture we had yesterday was given to us (the notes) so I wasn't lacking in that part at least. I did read that lecture when I got home and it was so boring! How many different ways are they going to push communication on us?!?!?!?!?!!? OY!

Oh well ,off to school for another full day.

I hope I'm not just getting myself all riled up but I survived the first day. I'm not too sure what to expect. I don't do change too well but I'm glad for the hours that I have anyway. They will work out good. I should find out within the next two or three weeks what my clinical hours will be. I really hope I get days because nights/evenings doesn't finish up until almost 10pm!!!!! That's nuts! I can't do that!

We started off with a lecture today and it was conflict and change. Basically just another way of saying "communication". The lady who lectured was so boring it took all I had to stay awake! At least she cut it short and let us out early.

We are in "the cave". That makes it hard too because it's a small-ish room that is generally dark and today it was very very stuffy. I hope it gets better, the stuffiness that is, otherwise I'm going to go nuts. It's very easy to take a nap in that room. I just has this "come and sleep now" ambiance.

We'll see how it works out.

I'll just keep praying to God to give me the strength to make it through. I know I can trust in Him to get me through this.