TurboNurse

Alright. So I survived graduation and the pinning ceremony with only minimal tears.

Everyone kept asking me how I feel and quite honestly, I didn't feel any different. The only thing I really felt after it was all over was relief and a feeling of "now what?".

It's been almost one week now since I've graduated and I wish I could say something has changed but not really.

I've been calling an old manager about some job openings they have and got to talk to one old manager (love her) and not the one who is hiring for the posted positions. Grrrrrrr.........

I'm so tempted to keep calling. I'm at a point now that the wind has sort of come out of my sails and I don't know what to do.

On the other hand, I got a call from UNMH about an RN position in the NICU. This lead is actually going somewhere too. I have an interview at UNMH for this position on Monday.

I don't think I've ever been so scared about an interview as I am for this one! The reason is because my exposure/experience is extremely limited with neonates as compared to adults.

I feel completely comfortable doing invasive things to adults such as putting in Foley's and NG's. It doesn't bother me. The thought of doing that to someone who's life has just begun and is so innocent and has no understanding other than they don't feel good, just kills me.

I have put an in and out catheter in a baby when I worked the Pediatric ER and I felt so dirty doing that. I know I'm not a child molester but it just bothered me and made me feel like I violated this littly tiny person.

On the other hand, I did get nervous doing these things to adults when I first began as well. Over time, I've done so many that I don't even think about it anymore so there is hope for me.

I just feel so lost but at the same time, if I do get this position, I have a feeling that I will probably stay there forever!

I've been doing a lot of reading about NICU and a lot of nurses have said that they will not go anywhere else because they love it so much. You have no idea how excited I am to hear something like that with nursing! I would love it if I walked onto the unit and just fell in love!

Two of my friends from nursing school did their preceptorship in this unit. I've been in contact with one of them to get a heads up and help ease my nerves and she said that she absolutely loved this unit! Everyone was very nice to her and really helped her learn and grow as a nurse.

My interview is this Monday at 9am. It was originally scheduled for Wednesday but they moved me up on the list. I sure hope that's a good sign!

I'm praying to God every day and asking Him if this is where He really wants me to be. It seems like it becuase before I even got into nursing school (still doing prereq's) I kept running into a person who told me that NICU is where I need to go and several other things have happened during my education to put NICU in my mind and consider it. That is why I know that when I go into this interview, I will know if this is where He wants me to go or not. It's just like a gut feeling you get that you can't ignore because when God comes knocking on your door, it's a knock you can't ignore.

On that note, I'm going to to study for my interview. Yes study. I want to brush up on my knowledge of neonates before I go in so I don't look completely clueless.

PRAY FOR ME PLEASE!!!